844 Returne from PerN/^ssus, or the Scourge of Simony, pub-' liquely acted by the Students in Saint John’s Colledge in Cambridge P 'mted hy G,Eld for John Wright^ 1606

This play contains criticisms on Shakespeare and most of the principal poets of the day, including Spenser, Ben Jonson, Daniel, Drayton, Marlowe, Marston, &c. It is not generally known there are two editions of this play dated 1606, with the same title, but differing materially otherwise. The pre- sent is the rarest of these.

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THE

RETVRNE FROM

PERNASSV5:

Or

The Scourge of ^unony. ‘Publi^uelj dSed bj the Stadettti

in Saint lohnsCollcdgcin Cambridge^

ATLONDOJ^ ft'inted by (?. BldfotUhn IVrightjiXA are to bee fold at his &op at ChriA church Gate*

C i6e6* )

t

IherroMgUt!. “

Boy-,Stagekcep:f-iMomusiDefe}^f'>r.

^ oj, -

Spectators wc will a£t a Comedy ( non^his, ^

Staqeke. A poxon t this bookc hath it not in it^you woula be whipr, thou raf kail : thou nauft be fitting vp all night at cards.whcn thou ihould bs conning your part.

Boy. It’s ail long on you, I could not get ray part a night or two before that I might fleepe on it.

• StAgekee^tr carrieth the hoy away vnder his arme,

Afo, It’s eucn wcl doonc > hcreisfuch a fturre about a feur- oie Eiighfli (how.

Ddfe*i. Scuruiein thy face, thou feuruie Iack,ifthi$ company were not, yoiipaultry Crittick Gentleman,}' ou that kno we what it is to play at primero,or pafl'age- You that haue becne ftudent at poft and payre, faint and Loadam. You that haue {pent all your quarters rcuenewes in riding port one night in Chrifmas,bcare with the weake memory ot a gamfter.

Mo. Gentlemen,}' ou that can play at noddy, or rather play vpon Noddiciiyou thut can fet vp a icaft, at primero inneed ot a rcft.laugh at the prologue that was taken away in a voy- dcr.

iPefen. Whatwe prcfcntl muft needs confefleisbutlTiib- bered inuention ; if your wifdomeobfcurethecucumflance, yourkindcncflc will pardon thefubllancc.

Mo. What isprefented hcre,isan old mi fty fhowc , that hath lainethis twclfe-moncth in the bottonic of a coalc-hoiife a- mongfl broomes and old iho wes , an inuenfion that wc arc a- lliameJof,apdihrrforew6hauepromifedthe Copies to the Chandlers to wrappe his candles in.

Dtfer>, If s but a Chriftenmas toy, and may it plcafc your cur- tificstolecitpalle.

A»

Mem

The Prologue.

A/ofif. It s a Chriflmas toy indcede , as good a conccitc ag flauging hotcoclclcs, or blinde-man buffe.

Defe». Some humors you fhall fee aymed at, ifnot well rc- fcmbled,

:w.Humors indccde. i s it not a pretty humor to (land ha- mcringvpon two 2. ichollers feme whole

ycare . Thefe fame Fhi/. and Studio : haue becne followed witli a vvhip,and a verfe like a Couple ofVagabonds through Engh.nd and //<f//. T1'te Pilgrimage to T^erualfus, and there*- turv.c from F.'ruajfus haue floodctiie honed Sta^c^epers in many a Crou nes cxpence.’for linckes and vizardes purchaf d aSophifter a kn ckrwhich a clubbe hindred thebuttlcrsbox, and emptied the collcdge barrel!s,afld now vnicflcyou know the fubieft well, you may rctumc home as wife as you came, lor this laftis the lead parte of the rcturnefrom PeYnajfus, that is both the fiitl & the laft time that the Authors wit wil turne vponthetoein this vaine,and at this time the fcencis not at 7cr;Mj'/J//,thatis,lookcs not good inuentionin the lace.

Defen. If the Cataflrophe pleafc you not , impute it to the vnpleafing fortunes of difcontented fchollcrs.

For . Cataflrophe thet’sneucr 3.ta\cia.S\t lehh Afan~ deuiljox Tdeuis of Southampton but hath a better turning, Stngekecper. What you iecring afTc,be gon with a pox, tjiiom. You may doc better tobufy yourfelfe in proui* ding beere,for the fhewe wi! be pittifull drie, pittifull dric.

Exit .

No more of this, I heard the fpeffators afke for a hlankf verfe.

What we fhcWjis but a Chriflmas iefl,

Concciuc of this and giicflc of all the reft r Full like a fchollcrs haplcflc fortunes pen d,

Whofeforroer griefes feldcmc haue happy end*;

Frame afwcll ,wc might with cafy ftrainc.

With far moreprayfe,and with as litticpainc,

Storyes of louc, where forne the wondringbcnch>

Theljlpipg gallant might cnioy his wencE*

Oi

1 lie Prologue,

Or make forac Sire acknowledge his loft fonne^ Found whenthew'carya£tis almcftdonc*

Nor vnto this, nor vnto that our fccnc is bent,

Wc oncly Ihew a fchollers difeontent.

In Scholers fortunes twife forlorne and dead T wife hath our weary pen eatft laboured.

Making them Pilgrims in Pernajfus hill,

Tlien penning iheir rcturne with ruder quill.

Now we prefent vnto each pittying eye,

The fchollers progrefle in their milerye.

Refined w its your patience is our blifle,

I’oo weake our fccnc •• too great your iudgment is* To you we feeke to fhew a fchollers (fate,

His feorned fortunes, his vnpittyed fate.

To you : for if you did not fchollers blcflc.

Their cafe f poore cafe) were too top pittileflc* You fhade the mufes vnder foftering.

And make them Icaiie to figh,and learneto fin^'

V'.

The names of the Adlors.

DrAmortis Ter fan A,

Ingemofi. ladich,

VAnter, Thlamujus^ Studiofo. VurorPoetims, PhAntxfinA, VAtient, IhiehArietto',

T he»dore J

B^rgsffefAtieat. lAqtteSf^ttdfo/a^

AcudemCA,

Amrotto,

Page,.,.

Signer Tmmerito Stcrctttio his fat her. Sirfredertck. Reeerder.

Page.

Predige.

KemPe, Fidlers. Patients mart.

AAusi. Scenai.

Ingemefo,mth luHcnaU in his hand.

D

■ Jngeniofo.

Tficile eji.Satyram nonfcribereysatn <jtm mqua 3^ Tam ^aliens vrbss,tamfnrens vt tcneatfe ?

Lluucna\l:ihyierkinghand «sgood.

Not o-cndy laying on, but fetchingb.oiid.

So furgean-like thou doft with cutungneaie,

Where noughtbutlanching can the wound auay e. Ofufferme,among fo many men,

To tread aright the traces ot thy pen.

And light my linke at thy eternall flame,

Till with it I brand euerlafting fhame.

On the world's forhead and with thine owne Ipmt, Pay home the world according to his merit.

Thy purer foule could not endure to fee,

Eucnfmalleftfpotsofbafeimpurity; .

Nor could fmallfaultsefcapc thy cleaner hands

Then foule faced Vice was in his fwadling bands. Now like nyfnteHs growne a monfter is,

A match for none but mighty Here sties.

Now can the world praftife in playner guife, Both finnes of old and new borne villaaves.

Stale finnes arc ftoletnow doth the world begin, Totakcfolepleafureinawitty finne. Vnplcafantisthclawlefle finne has bin, Atmidnight reft.whcn darkneffe couers fin. It’sClownifh vnbefeeming a young Knight, VnlefTe it dare outface the gloring light.

Nor can it nought our gallants pray! es reape, Vnlefle’it be done in flaring Cheape,

In a finne-guilty Coach not cloafcly pent, lo o-ging along the harder pauement.

DM not feare check my repining fprit,

Soone fhould my angry ghoft a flory write, .

In

Thcreturns from Permjfus. In wliicli I would ne w foflred finncs combincj Not knovvne carll by truth telling

Enter lud Scena z, Ingeniofo^Iudielo,

lad. What carrying a Vinegar bottle aboutthce,

lake a ^rcat fchole-boy giuing the world a bl oudy nofc ? *

Ing. Faith ludtcio^xd carry the vineger bottle, it's great rca» fon I Ihould confer it vpon the bald pated world jandagainc, if my kitchen want the v:en lilies of viands,it’s greatreafon o* thermen fhould hauc thefauceof vineger, and for the bloudic no(ejudicioj Imay chance indeed giuc the world a bloudy nofc, bur it (hall hardly giuc me acralctcrownc, though it

dues other Poets french crownes»

lud. I would wi(h thee to (heath thy pen, for thoU canft

not be fucccflefull in the fray,conlidering thy enemies hauc the aduantage of the ground.

Or rather /W. they haus the grounds with aduantage, and the french crownes with a pox , and I would they had them with a plague too .-but hang them fwadds , the bafeft corner in my thoughts, is too gallant a roome to lodge them in , but fay /Wi«<?,what newes in your prefle, did youkeepc any late corrosions vponany tardy pamphlets /

Ind^Veterem inJjes renoftxre dolor em /«^.what ere befalls thee, keepe thee itom the trade of the correSor of the prefle.

Iftg. Mary fo I will,l warrant thee,i^ouerty prefsc not too much, He correS no prefsc but the prclse of the people.

Iftd, Would it not grieuc any good fpirits to lit a whole m meth nitting out a loufy beggarly Pamphlet, and like a needy Phifitian to Hand whole ycarcs,toffing and tumbling, diciilth that falleth from fo many draughty inuentids as day- ly fwarme in our printing honfe ?

Ing, Come(I thinke) we (ball hauc you put finger in the eve and crie,0 fricnds,no friends , fay man what new paper hob- by hor fes , what rattle babies arc come out in your late May morriccdauncc ?

ludt Sly my rimes as thick as flics in the Amnc,l thinke

there

TFmrnmjrmrmnijjwr.

there be n'eucr an alle houfe in England, not any fo bafe a may pole on a country greene, but fetts forth fome poets pectcrncls ordemilaunces to the paper waircs inPaules Churchyard* And well too may the iflue of a ftrong hep learne to hop all ouer England, when as better wittes fit like lame coblers in their ftudies.Such barmy heads wil alwaies be working,whea asfadvineger witts lit louring at the botteme of a barrell: plaint Meteors, bred ofthe exhalation of Tobacco, and the vapors of a moyft pot, that fourc vp into the open ayre.whcn as founder wit keepes belowe.

/W.ConlIdcring the furyes of the times,! could better endure tofe thofe young Can quaffing huckfters fhoot of their pellets fb they would keepe them fromthefe Englifh floref-foetarnm^ butnow the world iscometothatpafle, thattherc ftartsvp euery day an old goofe that fits hatching vp thofe eggs whick haue ben filcht from the nefl of Crowes and Kcflrells : here it a booke Ing : why to condemne it to cleare the vruallTibume of all mifliuing papers, weare too faire a death for fo ioulc aa offender.

/w^.Whaf s the name ofit,I pray thee /»af|

Looke its here

/«^.what a belwether in Paules Churchyeard, fo cald be- caiife it keeps a bleating, or becaufe it hath the tinckling bel of fo many Poets about the neck ofit, what is the reft of the title.

/W* The garden of the Mufes.

7«j;*What haue we here, the Poet garifhgaylybcdckct like fore horfes of the pari(h?what follows. lud, referent mufe, viuet dum rthorei tellus^

Dum alum Hellas, duurvehit amnis aejuas.

Who blurres fayer paper, with foule b iftard rimes. Shall liue full many an age in latter times:

Who makes a ballet for an ale houfe doore.

Shall liue in future times for euer more.

Then ( jthy mufe fhall liue fo long.

As draft)' ballats to thy praife are fong.

But what's his dcuife,Parnaffus with the funne and the lawreb Iw'onder this owlc dares looke on the funne andl maruaill

B this

1 himuffJejrm termjjus.

this gofe flijs not thelawrcll : his dcuifc might Iiauehcne bet- tcfta foolc going in to the market place to be fccne , with this motto fcnl>tm:ff iadocti , or a poorc beggar gleaning ofearcs in the end ofharuefi, with this word/aa cui^gloria,

/W.Turnc oucr the Icafc l»g : and thou lhalt fee the payncs ofthii worthy gcntlcman,Sentcnccs gathered out of all kind of Poettv, referred to certaine methodical! hcadcf^profitable for the vfc of thefe times, to rime vpion any occafion at a little warning ; Read the names.

/»g. So I will, if thou wilt helpc me to cenfure them.

Bdmurtd Spencer. Henry Cenflahle, Thomas Lod<re.

c>

Samuel DanielL Thomas fVatfon.

Michaell Drayton. lohfsDasiis. lohn tJAfarflon. Kit: Marlowe*.

Good men and true,ft,ind togither:heare your cenfure, what’s thy iudgement of Spencer i

A fwcetcr fwan then cucr fong in Poe,

A ihrillcr Nightingale then cuer bieft The prouder groues offelfe admiring Rome.

Blith was each vallvjand each fheapeard proud. While he did chaunt his rurall minRralfye.

Attentiiie was full many a dainty eare.

Nay hearers hong vpon his melting tong, while fvvcetly othis Faiery Qnecne hefong.

While to the waters fall he tun’d for fame.

And in each barke engrau’d Elizaes name, .

And yctfor all this.vnregarding foilc Vnlac’tthclineofhis defiredlifc,

Denying may ntenance for his deare releifi:. Carclefle care to preuent his^xequy,

Scarce deigning to fhut vp his dying eye.

Ing* Pitty It is that gentler witts fhould breed. Where thickfkin chuffes laugh at a fchollcrs neede, But foftly may our honors afhes reft.

That lie by mcry (^haucers noble cheft.

f

I

But

The returhefrom f ernajfus.

But I pray thcc procecdc brecflyin thy ccn fur c, that! may be proud of my ft lfe,a$ in the firrt,fo in the laft, my cen- furc may iumpe with thine. Henrj Co»flable,Samutn)Aniel^ Themas Lodg^homns Watjen.

lud. Sweete Conftahte doth take the wondring care. And laycs it vp in willing prifonment:

Sweete hony dropping Danitll doth wage Warre with the proudeft big Italian*

That melts his heart in fugred fonetting*

Oncly let him more fparingly make vfe.

Of others wit, and vfc his owne the more:

That well may fcoinc bafe imitation.

'^ox Lodge .-md fVatfon, men of fome defert.

Yet fubiefi to a Critticks marginall*

Lo dge foi his oare in euery paper boate*

He that turnes oucr Galen cuery day.

To fit and firopcr£«pWj legacy.

Ing. Michael DrajtoK.

Draytons fweete mufc is like a fanguinc dy.

Able to rauifli the rafii gazers eye.

Ing. How euer he wants one true note of a Poet of our tiraet, and that is this , hcc^cannot fwaggerit wcU in a Tauernc , nor dominere in a hothoufe . lud* hhnDams.

Acute /oi« afFeft thy rymes,

Thatierck in hidden charmes thefe loofer timest Thyplayncr verfcjthy vnafFefted vaine.

Is grac’t with a fayre and a fooping trainc.

Ing. Locke and Hudfon.

Itid. Lockfi and Hndfon, fleepc you quiet fliauers , among the fhauings of the prcfl'e,and let your bookes lie in fome old nookesaraongftold bootes andfhooes ,foyoumay auoyde my cenfure.

I>tg. Why then clap a locke on their fcctc, and tumc them to commons.

John AfarJloK,

Indt What Monper Ki»fayder,WL\r\^ Vp your Icggc and

The returne from PemaJjus. f

pKTingagainftthe world,putvpraan.puivpforfl»aintf» f

Me thinks he is a R uffian in his ftile,

Withoufcn bands or garters ornament,

He qviatfes a cup of frenchmans Helicon.

Then roy fter doylfer in his oylie tearmes,

Cutts.thrufts, and foincsat whoincfoeuerbenjeets#

And ftrewes about Rara-ally meditations, [

Tut what cares hcformadeft clofecoucht termcs,

Clein'y to gird our loofcr libertines.

Gius him plaine naked words ftript from their fhirts i

That might befeeme plaine dealing Aretine : '

I there is one'that backes a paper Heed And manageth a pen-knife gallantly.

Strikes his poinado at a buttons breadth ,

Brings the great battering ram of tearms to towns And at fitrt volly of his Cannon fhot.

Batters the walies of theoldfuHie world.

I»g, Qoriftofher Afarlotve. ^

/W, Marlove was happy in his bufkind mufe,

Alas vnhappy in his life and end,

Pitty it is mat wit fo ill fhould dwell.

Wit lent from heauen,but vices fent from hell*

Ing» Our TifiM/er hath Ioft,7’/«/o hath got,

A Tragick penman for a driery plot.

’Bemamin Uhnfon,

Jted. The wittieft fellow ofa Bricklayer in England. lug. A nwere Empyrick, one that getts whathe hath by ob- feruatioQ , and makes onely nature priuy to what he endites, i follow an inuentor , that he were better betake himfelfe to ; his old trade of Bricklaying, a now in n^akingof a booke , a of a brick.

WilliAm Shittefpeare> lud. Who loucs fyfdonis louCjOr Lucre s rape.

His fweeter verfe contayncs hart robbing life, ^

Could but a grauer fubiefl him content.

Without louctfoolidt lazy lapguifhmeot.

bould whorfon , as confident ( he was in times pad in laying ^

The returnefrm Ternijfus.

Ing> Churchyard.

Hath not Shors wife although a light fkirts llie, Giuenhitn a chaft long laftingmeinory ? lud^ No all light pamphlets once I finden /hall,

A Churchyard and a graue to bury all, lug, Thomas Najhdo.

1 licarc is a fcllowc ludicio that carryed the deadly ftockc it. his pen, who/e niufe was armed with a gagtooth,and his pen poflcft with Hercules furies.

lud. Let all his taultcsflccpc with hismoumfuU chefl.

And then for eucr with his allies reft.

His ftile was wittie, though he had feme gal.

Something he might haue mended, fo may all.

Yet this 1 /ay,that for a mother witf,

Fewe men haue cuer feene the like of it.

Ing, Reades the reH,

lud. As for thefe, they haue Tome of them beene the old hedgftakes of the prefle , and fome of them are at this inftant the botts and glanders of the printing houfe. Fellowes that ftand ouely vpon tearmes to ferue the tearme,with their bloN ted papers, write as men goe to ftoole , for needes , and when they write,they write as a Beare pides , now and then drop a pamphlet.

Ing. Durum telumnecejfitas.GooA fayththeydoas T do, ex- change words for mony , 1 haue fome traffique this day with Danter,2hovil a little booke which I haue made , the name of it is a Catalogue of Cuckolds ,but this Beluedere,

this mcthodicall a/Te,hath mademe almoft forget my time:Il« now to Paules Churchyard mcetemeanhourehence,atthe figne of the Pegafus in Cheap-fide, and lie moy ft thy temples with a cuppe of Claret, as hard as the world gocs.£ar* ludicio,

tyitlus l.Scena 3.

Enter Darter the Trinter,

Ing. Danterthow art deceiued, wit is dearer then thou takeft k to bee , 1 tell thee this hbel of Cambridge has much fatt and peppa inthenofe: it will fell fheerely vndcrhand,whenal

B| the/e

TheretuYnefrornVirnnffus.

tncfe bookes of exhortations and Catcchifmcs, lie moulding on thy fhopbourd.

Dah. It’s true, butgoodfayth M. /w^.woys.Iloftbyyour lafl bookc, and you knowe there is many a one thatpayts me

largely, for the printing of their inuentionsjbut for aUthisyou

lliall hauc 40. lliillings and an odde pottle of wine.

40. Shillings ? a fit reward for one of your rcumatick poets, that bcflaucrsall the paper he comes by ,andfurni!hes the Chaundlcrs with waft papers to wrap candles in; but as for me, lie be payddeare cuenior thedreggsof my wit: little knowesthe worldcwhat belong to the keeping of a good wit in waters, dictis', drinckes, Tobacco , &c. it is a daynty and coftly creature,and therefore I muft be payd fwecdy;hir- nifh race with mony,that I may put my felfe in anew fiitc of clothcs,and He fuite thy lliop with a new fuite oftearmcs:it’$ the gallantcft Child my inuention wascucrdeliucrcd off.Thc title is, a Chr«nicle of Cambrife Cuckoldsthcre a man may fee what day of the moncth fuen a mans commons were inclo- fed,and when thro wne open , and when any entayled fome oddecrowneSjVpon the heircs of their bodies vnlawfully bc- gottcnrfpeakc quickly ells I am gone.

Ohthis will fell gallantly : He haue it whaifoeucr it coft,will youwalkeon M. fit oucr a cup of

yvinc and agree on it

lug. A cup of wine is as good a Conftable as canbe,to take vp the quarrell betwixt vs. Exemt^

fi/iEhts I .feena ^/Philomufm in a T>hifitions hAbicSudU 0fethAt is laqnes man^zyind pAtisnt^

Phil. Tit tit tit^nonpojnte , non debet feri phUhetomotio in ctitst Lnn£:hcre is a Recipe.

PAt. A Recipe. ’

Phil. Nts GaIUa non (^'urAnms quAntitatem fyllabarHm ; Let tncheare how many ftooles you doc make. Adeiu mounfeir, adeiu good mounfeir , what lAqms 11 n aperfonne npres tcy. Stfsdt Non.

Phil

T he reiii-t r.ejrom Pernajjui.

Phil. Then let vs Itcalc time for this borrowed lliape. Recounting our vncquall h.'pps of late.

Late did the Ocean gi afpe vs in his airnes.

Late did we liue wit hin a flranger ayre;

Late did we fee the cinders of great U omc We thought that EnglilTifugitiiies there eatc Goldjfor refloratuicjifgold weremeatc.

Yet now wefinde by bought experience,

Thar where fo ere we wander vp and downc.

On the rounde Ihoulders of this naafly world.

Or ourill fortnncs,or the worldes ill eye Forfpealcc our good, procures our miferyc.

Stud. So oft the Northen winde with frozen wings,

Hath beate the flowers that in one garden grewe:

Throwne downc the ftalkcsofourafpiring youth, ^

So oft hath winter nipt our trees fairc rind c,

Thatnow' we feemenought but two bared boughes. Scorned by the bafeft bird that chirps in groaue.

Nor Rome, nor Rhemes that wonted ar to giue,

A Cardinal! cap, to difeontented clarkes.

That hauc forlboke the home-bred thanked roofes,

Yecldcdvsany equal maintenances

And it’s as good to flame mongft Englifli fwine.

As in a forraincland to beg£C and pine:

PhiU He feotne the world that fcorneth me againc.

Stud, llevexthe world that workes me fo much paine. Thil. Fly lame reuengings power, the world well weenes. Stud. Flyes haue there fpleene,each fylly ant his teenes, Phil, We haue the worries they the pofl'cfTion hauc.

Stud. We all are e quad in our lateft grau?.

Phil. Soone thensO focre may we both graued be.

Stud, Who wiflies dcath,doih wrong wilb defiinie,

T^hil, It's wrong to force lifc,loathing men to breath.

Stud. It’s finnefor doomed day to wifli thy deaths Phil, Too late our foulcs flit to their refling place.

Stud, Why mans whole life is b ut a breathing fpacc.

Phil* A painefull minute feemes a tedious yearc.

Thereturnejrom fermflus.

Stud* Aconftant minde ctcrnall woes will beared Phil, When lhall our foulcs their wearied lodge torgoc? Stud. When w'c haue tyred itiifcry and woe.

Phil. Soone may then fates this gale dcliucr fend vs.

Small woes vex long great woes quickly end vs.

But letts leauc this capping of times Studiofo^vnA follow our late deuife, that wee may maintaincour heads in cappes our bellycs in prouender,and our backs in fadleand bridle? hetherto wee haue foughMll the honeft meanes wccould to liuc,& now let vs dare,<i/ty«<W hreuihus grads and carcere dig- vs run through all the lewd formes of lime-twig pur- loyningvillanyeSjletvsproucCony catchers Baudes,orany thing, fowc may rub-out, and firftmy plotforplayii^thc french Doftor thatfhall hold ; our lodging (land here filthy in/liooelane,forifour commingsin benot the better, Lon- don may Hiortely throw an old Ihooe after vi,and with thofe fliredds of French, that we gathered vp in our hofles houfc in i*4w,weel gull the world , that hath ineftimation forrainc Phifitians,&if any ofthe hidebound brethcren ofCambridge and Oxforde,or any of thofe Stigmatick maifters of arte, that abufed vs in times paft , leauc their ownc Phifitians , and be- came cur patients,wee’l alter quite the ftilc of them, for they fiial neuer hereafter writc.your Lordfhips mod bounden:but your Lordfhips mod laxatiue.

Sfud. It dialbefo, fee what a little verminc pouerty altcrelh a whole milky difpofition.

*Phil, So then ray felfe dreight with reuenge lie Seatc,

Sfud, Prouoked patience growes intemperate.

I. ScfM 5.

EnterRithardetto,l4qHes, ZcholUr leArmngfrtnch^

How now my little knaue, quelle nouelle mounfeir. Richar, Thcr’s a fellow with a night cap on his head, an vri- ijal in his hand, would fayne fpeake witnmadcr Theodore, laq. Parle Prancojes mom petit' garfoun,

Richard. Up avahomme one U bonnet d«

ft

5 heretttfiltjron^

ef vn vrinell in U mens^ue veut parteTy

lacj.Foc beieum La teiie

Theod. laqHesaboms, Exeunt Theodor t

yiElus^i. Seen. 6.

Furor peeticusitnd prefentlj After enters PhantaJinAl

Furor poeticus rapt within contemplation^ Why how now TedantPhebus^vt you Imoutclitng Thalia oa her tender lips’Therchoic : pefaat avant: come Pretty £hort« nofd nnwhroh f.«cct Thalta,\ do kific thy foote. What Cleiol O fweet^ nay pray thee do not vveepe Melpomene. What Vrania,Polmma, and Qalliopey let me doc rcucrcncc to your deities. Thantafma puls him

Fur.l am your holy fwaync>that night and day, bj/ iha

Sit for your iakes rubbing my wrinkled browc, Jleeue.

Studying a moceth for on Epidtete.

Nay filucr finthia, do not trouble me s Straight will I thy EWrwVw floryc write,

To which thou hafteft me on day and night.

You light fldrt ftarres, this is your wonted guile.

By glomy lightperkc out your doutfull headts:

But when Dwi Phebus Ihoweshis flalhingfnout.

You arrfley puppies, flreight your light is out,

*PhAK. So ho, Furor^

Nay pr ethee good Furor in fober fadnes.

Furor t Odi prafanunt vulgus et arceo,

Than^Vf fweet Furor ^ipfa te Tytire pinut^

Furor, Ipp tefonteSf ipfa hac arbufia voearunt^

Who’s that runs headlong on my quills lhatpe poynt*

That wcaryed of his life and bafer breathy Offers himfcl fe to an lambicke verfe, ^

T*hantt Si quoties peccant homines, fua fulmina nsittat Jupiter, exiguo tempore inermis erit,

P/»r.What flimyc bold prefumtious groomc is hc<

Dares with his rude audacious hardy echatt.

Thus feiier me ffomfkibbered contemplation }

Phanttfarmina vel calo poffunt deducere lunam.

Furor, Oh Thantafmai\^3.t my indiuiduall mate 3 0 mtai pof nullos Furor memorandejodales ^

e Say

nt»rne frm fernAjf»s\

„ Say whence comeft thou’fcnt fi om what deytye?

From great Apollo or fly Mercury c.

^hAff, I come from the litle Mercury, IngemofetToTf Inrre»i» pellet cui vim nAtnrA negAuit,

Vnror, higcniofo ?

He js a pretty inuenter of flight pro(e:

But there’s noTpirit in his groaiieling fpcach^

Hang him whofc verfe can not ouNbelch the wind:

That cannot beard and braue Don Eelus,

That when the cloude of his inuentiori breakes.

Cannot out-cracketlie fcarr-crow thundcrbolt- VhAn, Hang him, I {iyfPenio pepeniii,tende tetendt ,pedo pe» |

fedi^N^ it plcafc you maiftcr Enror, to walkc with mc.l pro- | mifed to bring you to a drinking inne, in Chcapfide at the I

figneofthenaggesheade, for, ^

Tempore lent a pAtifrana docentur equi.

Furor. Pafle the before, He come incontinent. [

Phun. Nay faith maiftcr i='«r<?r,lctts go togither , j

^oHuenimus amb$^^ '

Furor. Letts march bn vnto the houfc of fame:

There quaffing bowlcs of Bacchus blood ful nimblyj i

Enditc a Tiptoe, flrouting poefy .

They offer the way one to the ether^ .

Phan. Flue me Sacche rapis tut plenum.

Tur/iMtrttibimeeJiaqHumfarere MenalfA^

Aff. Tecundus : Scena.3, |

Enter Philom. Theod. hispatient the £ urge ffe, and hit matt !

with his (late.

Theod, putts on his fpeElacles.

miounfeiur here are atomi NatantetyNhich do make fhew your worfhip to be as leachcrous as a ball.

"Burg. T ruely maiftcr Doftor we are allmen.

Theod. This vater is intention of heatc,are you not pertar-. bed with an ake in your race, or in your occipuf.lmcanc your head peece ,lct me feele the pulfe of your little fihger.

Burg. lie aflure you y^.Theodour',i\ic^v^^co^ my head ’ Jieatet cxceedingly^and I thinke 1 haue difturbed my felfe by

ftudyingthepenallftatutes. • ^

Theed. Tit ,tit,your worftiip takes cares or your ipeechcj.c/, cottraleues Icquttntur ^ingentes fie/fpent , it is an AphohfhiC in

Galen.

^«r/. And whatisthcexpolitionorthat?

Theod.Thsit yourworfl^ip mull take ^glandyVt emittatur y:,»f»<j:thcfigncisforexeccllcnt,forexccllcnt.

^ ^urg. Good maifter Dod>or vfc mce gently , for m^ke you Sir , there is a double coofidcrationtobchadotnie;nrll Liam a publikc mag>ftiafe,fecondly as lamapriuarebut- cherrand but for the worft ipiul,’ credit of the place,and ofhce wherein I now (land and hue I would not hazard my wor- fhipfull apparell.wiih a fuppofitor or a glihcr •• but tor the •countenanang of the place, ( mull go o(tc ncr to lloolc,for as a o-rcat s entleman told nic of good cxpeticnce, that it was the cinefe note or a magiftratc ,not to go to the ftoolc withouta

phifiiicno ^ ^ - «

KiVohS ettexvn gmtellhonfe vratment y w nat no laquex^ Uqnes^QH tVQUslvnjon gentd furgMilonfor mon^cr^Burgejfe.

laq. tres humble (er nit ure a vojlre commanaement.

Thcod\, Donne vous vn gentell }i^rge a Monjier Burgejfe. l haue conndcred of thccrafis,and(yntoroaot yourdifcafc, and here is vn fort gentell pHrgation per euacHAti&nem excrement r»r»w,aswePhifitionsvfctoparlee.

B«rjf. Ihopc maiftcr Doftor you haue a care of thecoun- iryes officer, I tell you 1 dutft not haue trufted my leUc with eueryphifition, and yet I am not afiaidclor my leltc^butl would not depriue the to wne of fo carcfull a roagiltratc, Theod. O monficr,! bauea lingular care of your valctudo, itisrequifite that the French Phinticnsbclcarnedandcarc- iull vour Englilh veluct cap is malignant and cnuious.

&r£. Here is maiftcr Doaorfourc pence your due, and cjvht pence my bounty , you ffiall bcarc from me good rnaiuer

Doaor,tatewcllfarewcll,good maiftcr Doftor.

Theod. Adieu good Mounfter, adieu good Sir mounncr.

Then burft with tearesvnhappy graduate;

Thy fortunes ftill wayward and backward b.m

Theretur?tefrorf%FernAjjus. ^

Nor can!! thou thriuc by vertue,nor bv fin.

Sind-Oh. how it orceucs my vexed foule to Cee,

Each painted affe m chayre oF dignitvc:

And yet wcgroucll on the ground alone, |

Running through cuery trade,yct thriueby none.

More we mul! a£le in this hues Tragedy^

^Phi.Sid IS the plottjfadtheCataftvophe,

Stud. Sighs arc the Chorus in our Tragedy,

Phil. And rented thoughtscontinuall a£!ors bee.

Stud^ Woe is thefiibieftrP/u'/.carth the loathed ftage, hereon we aft this fained perfonage*

Moffy barbarians the fpeftators be, mofllihf i

That (it and laugh at our calamity. throng

Phtl . Band be thofc hourcs when niongfl the learned By Grant acs muddy bancke we whilomc fong, '*

Stud. Band be that hill which learned wins adore.

Where earft we fpent our (lock and little (lore:

P^/.Band be thofc muftv mcwcs,whcrc we haue fpent,

Oar youthfull daics in paled langufiiment.

Stud.^iad be thofc cofemng arts that wrought our woe, ,

Making vs wandring Pilgrimes to and fro. ■

Phil. And Pilgrimes muft we be without rclicfc.

And whercfocucr we run there meets vs greefe.

Where cucr we toffc vpon this crabbed flage j

Griefe’s our companion,patience be our paK.

Phil.hh but this patience is a page of rum, ;

A tired Lacky to our wandering youth. j

^AUus.z. Scena.i.

AcademicefaluSt

Acad. Paine wold I haue a liuing,if I could tel how to come by it, Eccho. Buy it.

Buy it fond Eccrwhy thou dofi greatly mlftakc it. Ecc.Qakc if. Stake itJwhat (hould I (lake at this game of limony /£rc:mony What is the world a game, arc liuings gotten by playing? ; Paying. |

Paying? \

The retftrngjrmj'errfajjrn.

Payms > but fay what*» thcneareft way to come by aliuing? worships fiOsbcc needs then oy led with Angel!*?

Oughf b» ?vvty fifts then firft with gold to be greafed ?

MccheMaie^- . , m t i •>

And is it then fuch an eafe for his affes backc to cary m ^ny i

wiu^'fhen this golden aOc beftowe a vicarige guUded ?

W^aTlhilu'fayto good Sir that haue gold here -

ColdcheaVe.

Be make it my lone rcqueft,that he wold be good to a fchollcr.

Yea, will hee be choleiike,to heatc of an art or a fciencc?

Henre wUhTbetal arts,whatthen wil he do with his chancel ?

Sell it ? andmufta Ample dark be fayne to compound then?

Eccho, pounds then. ,

What if I haue no pounds, muft then my futc be proroagued?

Yca?giucn to a Roague^fliall an allc this vicandge compalic.

Whatis thereafon thatllhould not be a* fortunate ashec.*’ Eccho. h^thc. n.

Yet for al this, with a pcnilefle purfe wil I tnidg to hts woilhip

Eccho, woidschcapc. , ri. r r

We1,if he giuc me good words,it’s more the I haue from an £f-

cho. Uccht goc.

ABtu.i. SceM,%,

Amoretto with an Ouidia his hAnd,lf)*merito.

iAmoret.Tikc it on the word of a gentleman, tlwu cannot haue it a penny vndcr , thinkc onf,thinkc on it^while i tatc on my fay tc miftres.

C 3

N/tKi

i nc / u'Atne jTum t ernaj/as,

Kmcfee}ttorimperi»mmitgneCupid»tHut7r'.

What crc become of this dull thredbarc clcarke,'

I muft be coftly in my miftrefTcs eye: - Ladyes regard not ragged company.

I will with the reuenewes of my chafred church,

Firft buy an ambling hobby for my fayre/

Whofe meafured pace may teach the world to dancc. Proud of his burden when begins to praunce;

Tiicn miift I buy a iewell for her earc,

A Kirtle of feme hundred crownesormorer With thefc fayre giftes when I accompanied goe, Sheelegiue Tones brcakfaft;i’r^«y tearmes it fb,

I am her needic.’fhe is my Adamant,

She is my fayre Rofe, I her vn worthy pricice* jicad. Is there no body lieere will take thepaincs to geld hi* mouth ?

j/imor. Sh’s Cleopatra,! Markc Anthony,

t^cstd* No thou art a meere markc for good witts to Ihoote at : and in that fuite thou wJt make a hneman to dalh poore crowes out of countenance.

Amor, She is my Moone, I her Endimion,

Ac*d. No /he is thy /boulder of mutton, thou her onyon ; or fije may be thy Luna, and thou h cr Lunatickc.

Amo. I her Sjteasj!)^c my Dido is. t^Aead. She is thy lo,thou her brafen afle.

Or /be Dame DhamAfy and thou her gull s She thy Paj^phae^nd. thou her louing bulL

A^s. 2. Scena.4.

Enter lmmerito,A»d Stercutio his fat her ,

Ster. Sonneu's this the gentleman that fells vs the liuing?

Jm. Fy father, thou mart not call it felling, thou muU fay is this the gentleman that muff haue the gratuito ?

head. What haue we heere, old trupenny come to towne, to fetch away the liuing in his old greafy flops , then /ie none; the tLne hath bcenc when fuch a feilowc medlcd with nothing

but

The retiirne from Perm (Jus,

but His plcmlHarcjHisfpadc.anci hishobnaylcs j and fotoa pecce of bread and cheefe , and went his way .but now thefe jfeltowes arc giownethcbnely fiiftors for prcfcmicnt.

? Star, O IS this lire grating gentleman , and hoW many pounds rnuft: /pay

/w. O thou muff not call them poiindsjbnt thanks , and barke thou father, thou muft tell of nothing that isdonedor /muft feeme to comeciccre to it.

Acad. Not pounds but thanks: fee whether this/impic fellow that hath nothing of a fcholler , but that the draper bath biackt him oner, hath not gotten thcffilcof the time.

Sier, By my fayth Tonne looke forno morc portiom

In), Well father,! will nof,vpon this condition , that when thouhaue gotten me the gratiiito of the lining, thou will like* wifcdifburfeajittlc monyto thebifhops pofer, for there are certaine-tjiiefhons /makcfcruple to be pofed in.

^cad, Hcmcancsany queftion in Lattin,which he counts aferupIe,oh this honeft man could ncucr abide this popifh lounge of Laiine,oh he is as true an Englifh roan as liucs»

Ster, iletakethegcntlcmannovv, he isinagood vaync^ forhefrniics.

Amor. SwccteOuid.Idohonoiireuerypagc.

Acad. Good Oo/dthat in his life ume,liucd with the and now after his death conuerfcthwidi a Barbarian.

S.'cr. Godbee.atyourwoikc Sir;my Sonne toldmcycu were the grating gentleman, J am Surcfaio his father Sir, iiropleaslftand here.'

Acad, fellow'jlhadtathcr giuen thee an hundred pounds , then tlioufhould haue pufroe out of my txc client rocoitatidn,

• by the faith of a gentleman I was rapt in contemplation.

Im, Sir you mufi pardon my fathcr,he wants bringing vp.

Acad. Marry it fceracs hebath goodbringingvp,whcn he brings vpfo much mony.

Ster, Ir.decde Sir, you muft pardon me, I didnotknowe you were a gentleman oftheTcmplcbcfore.

Amor. Well I am content in a generous di({K>fition tobcare<: with country education, but fellow whais thy name ?

Sfer» My nameSir,j/rrf»noSir.

Amofk ,;Why>

ihe rtturnejrom rgrmjjtts. '

Why then Sfercuth^l would be very willing to be the inflru- mentto my father, that this liuing might bcconrcrted vpon yourfonne: mary Iwouldhauc you know, that Ihauebcne importuned by two or three feucral Lordcs,my Kindc cozins, in the behalfe of fomc Cambridge man*and hauc almoft enga- ged my word.Mary if I iliall Tccyour di^pofition to be more tliankfull then other men , I fbalbe very ready to refpect kind natur’d men. for as the ItaUan prouerbe fpeaketh wel, Chi ha haura,

Acad.vihy hcreisa gallantyoimgdroucrofliuings.

Ster. I bef cch you fir Ipeake Englifh, for that is naturall to me & to my Tonne, and al I out kindred, to vnderftand but one language.

Amor. Why thus in plaine cnglilhtl raaft be refpe died with thanks.

Acad. This isafubtic tradliuc,whcn thanks may ^fclt and feenc.

S ter. And I pray you Sif,what is the lowcft thanks that you will take?

Acad. The verye fame Method that he vfeth at the buying of an oxc. \

Amor . I mufl: haue ibme odd fprinckling of an hundred pounds, iffb, fo, I ihall thinkeyou thankfull,and commend - your Tonne as a ittan of goo d gittcs to my father* j

Acad^ A fweetc world, giue an hundred poundcs, and this |

is but counted thankfullnefle.

Jrer.Harkc thou Sir,you ihall haue So.thankcs. \

Amor . I tell thee fellow, I ncuer opened my mouth in this kind fo cheape before in my life.l tel tn?e, few young Gentle- men are found that would deale fo kindety with thee as f doe.

Ster. Well Sir, bccaufc I know myfonnetobca toward th'nv and one that hath taken all his learning on his owne hea^ without fending to the vniuerfityc , 1 am content to giuc you as many thankes as you afke , fo you will promife me to bring it to pamr.

Amor. I warrant you for thatnf I fay it once, repayre you to |

the place, and (lay thcrc,for my father,hc is walked abroad to |

take !

Theretttrttejrom FernAjji4s.

taketJie benefit of the ay rc . llemectchmi ashereturnes,and make way for your ftiiic .

Exeunt Ster» Im,

Aft* 2* Seen./.

Enter Academico. zyimorette.

Gallant,! faith.

?^Aead. I fee we fchollers fi/li for a lh)ir.{» in thefc /hallow foardcs without a filiicr hoodc. Wi)y,wi>!d it not g;u a ni; n to fee a fprufe gartered youtli, of oiirCoIicdge awhile ago,bea broker for a lining, 5c an old Baude for a beneficc-^This fweete Sirproferedmemuch kindcncfTe when heewasof our C6I- Icdgc , .and now lie try w hat windc remaynes in his bladder. God faue you Sir.

Atnor, By the mafle I feare me I faw this Genus 5c Species in Cambridge before now.lle take no notice of him now; by the faith of a gentleman this is pretty Eilcgy. Of what age is the day fellow’Syrrha boy, hath the grocmcfaddlcd my hun> ting hobby? can Robin hunter tel where a bare fits.

Acad, See a poorc old friend of yours., of S. Colledgc in Cambridge.

iAm, Good fay th Sir you muft pardon mc.I hauc forgotten you.

tAcad. My name is Academico Sir , one that made an ora- tion for you once on the Quccncsday,anda/howthatyou get feme credit by.

Awor. It may be fo , it may bee fo , but I haue forgotten if: marry yet I remember there was fuch a fellow that I was very bcneficiall vnto in my time. But howfocuer Sir,I haue the cur- tefic of the townefor you . I am fory you did not take me at niy fethers houfc : but now I am in cxceding great haft , for I hauc vowed the death of a hare that wee found this morning muling on her meaze.

Aead, Sir 1 am imboldncd,by that great acquaintance that

D hereto-

V

TheretUYnejrom ^ermjjuf.

^crt'o^Drel had wi:h yon , as likcwifc ic hath pleafcd you hcretofoir,

l.ookefyi'tha, if you fee my Hobby come hethcr- ward as yet.

/. To make me fom ; promifes , I am fo requeft your good mediariou to the Wornilpfiill your father, in my bc- halfe: and I will dedicate to your fclfc in the way of thankes,. thefe day es I haue to line.

o^mor, O good Sir, if I had knownc your minde before, for my father hath already giuen the induffion to a Chap- 4ainc of his owne, to a proper man, I know not of what Vni- ucrfitichcis.

Krad. Signior lmmtnto,\\\cy fay.hath bidden fay reft for it.

* A>nor. I kno -v not his name, but hcc is a grauc difcreetc man 1 warrant him, indeede hec wants vctcrance in forae ineafure.

Acttd» Nay, me thinkes he hath very good vttcrance, for his-graiiitie ,for hee came hether very graue , but I thinke he will rcturnc light enough, when he is-ndde of thehcauy. cle- • tnent he carries about him.

Faith Sir, you inoft pardon mee,it is my oidinarie tuffpineto be tooftudlous ,myMidrefle hath toldcme of it often, and 1 findcittohurt my ordinary difeoui-fe ; but fay fweeteSir, do yec cffefl the moftgentle-raan-likeg^me ct hunting.

tyicad. How fay^ you to the crafty gull, hee would faine " get rmc abroad to moke fport with mee in their Hunters tcrnies, which we rcFiol!er> are not acquainted with: fir 1 haue loiicd this kinde of /porte, but now I begin to hate it, for it hath beene my luck alwayesto beat the bulh, while an* other kild the Hare.

<>ylmor. Hunters luck, Hunters luck Sir , but there was a ' faultinyourHoundsthatdid fpend well.

Acadt Sir I hauc had worfe luck alwayes at hunting the

Fox.

What fir do you mcanc at the vnkenneliing, vntape* , aangjor cat thing of the Foxj |

Acad%

Theretnrnefr^mTernAjifis^

e>/f,«i4Imc3necar{hingjit you tcrmeitfo/orlneiicrfotiiid yellow earth enough to coiier the old Fox ycur father.

ulmor. Good faith fir, there is an excellent skill in blowing for the terriers, it is a word that we hunters vfc wher) the Fox is earthcd,you inufl blpw one long,two fliort, the fecend winde one long two fliortinow fir in blowing,cuery long couainech 7,quauers,onc Oiort containoth 3. quauers.

K-cad, Sir might I finde any faiiour in my fute J would wind the borne wherein your boonc delcrts fhould be fouiided with fo many minims, fo many quauers.

Armr. Sweet fir, I would I could conferre this or any kind- neirc vpon you ; I wonder the boy comes nor away with my Hobby.'Now fir, as 1 was proceeding ; when you blow th death of your Fox in the field or couert, then miiftyou found •3 .notes, with 3 .windcs, and rccheat: raarke you fir, vpon the famewith ^.wiiides.

Acad. I pray you fir.

^mor. Now fir, when you come to your fiately gate ^ as 5'ou founded the rcchcat before, fo now you muftlound the rcleefc three times.

Acad. Relecfe call you it ? it v\cre good cucry patron Would fihdc the home. .

fir, but your reliefe isy'^our fweetell: note, that is fir, when your hounds hunt aftera game vnknownc.and then you mufl found one long and fix lhort,the fecond wind, two fiiort and one long, the third wind, one long& two fbort.

yfc4<^.Truefir,iti5a very good trade now adayes tpbea villaincjl am the hound that hunts after a game vnknownc,6c blowesthc villainc.

Amor. Sir, 1 will blelTc your earcs with a very pretty ftory, my father out of hisownc cofi: and charges kecpcs an open taol e f or all kinde of d ogges.

And he keepes one more by thee.

Amor, He hath your Grey-hound , your Mungrell , yoiir- Maftife, your Lcurier, your Spaniell, your Ken nets. Terriers, Butchers dogs, Bloud-liounds, Dunghill doggc$,trindle failes, prick-card currc$,finall Ladies puppies, Caches and Baft irds*;

Da tyicad.

Thereturnefrm Termjjus^

«^rfi/.What a bawdy knauc hath he to his father , that kcepcs his hath hisbadards^andletshis Tonnes be

platne Ladies puppets, to beray a Ladies Chamber.

Antar. It was my plcaTiire two dayes ago , to take a gallant Icafli of Grey-hounds, and into my fathers Parke 1 went , ac- companied with two or three Noblemen of my neere ac- quaintance,defiring to flicw them Tome of thefport: IcauTd the Keeper to feuerthe rafcall Deere, from the Bucks of the firfthead:nowfir,aBuckethcfirfl yeareis aFawnc, thefc- cond yeare a p ticket, the third y eai c a Sorcll , the fourth yearc a Soarc, the fift a Buck of the nrtt head, the fixt yearc a com- plcat Buck : as hkewife your Hart is the firft yeare a Calfe , the fecond yeare a Brochet , the third yeare a Spade , the fourth yeare a S tagge,the fife yearc a great Stag, the hxc yeare a Hart; as likewife the Roa-bucke is the firA yeare a Kid , thefc* cond yearc a Girle, the third yearc a Hemufe : and thefc are your fpcciall bcafis for chafe , or as wee Huntfmen call it., for venery.

Acad. If chafie be taken for venery/hou art a more fpcciall beaftthen any in thy fathers forrcld.Sir I am forry 1 haue been fo troublcfome to you.

hnt. I know this was the readied way to chafe away the Scholler, by getting him into a fwbieff he cannot talke of, for his life. Sir I will borrow fo much time of you as to finiflr this my begun ftoric. Now fir, after much trauellwe finglcd a Btrck,l rode that fame time vpon a Roane gelding, and (food tointercept from the thicket : the Buck broke gallantly; my great Swift being difiduantagcd in hisfiipwas at the firdbe- hinde, marry prefentlv coted and out-dript them, when as the Hart prefently difcended to theRiuer,and being in the water, proferd,and reproferd, andproferd againe;andatladhc vp- ftarredat the other fide of the water which we callfoylcof the Hart,and there other Huntfmen met him with an adaun- treley:wc followed in hard chafe for the fpacc of eight hourcs, thrife ow hounds were at default", and then we cryed a daine, ftreightfo ho: through good reclaiming mv faulty hounds found their game againe, and io went through the wood with

gallant

The returnefrom

callantnoiccof raufickcjrefembling fo many VioIIsDegam* bo; at laft the Hart laid him downe, and the Hounds feized vpon him , he groned , and wept , and dyed. In good faith it made me wccpe too, to thinkc of hBeons fortune , which my Onid fpeakes of. Vie reades Quid,

Militatemnisamans,(fr habetfuacafira Cupido.

Ac4d. Sir , can you put me in any hope of obfayning my fijfe.

Amor. In good faith Sir, if 1 did not lone you as my foule, I would not make you acquainted with themyftetiesof my

Art.

.^cad. Naye , I will not dye of a difeourfe yet , if I can choofe.

.^mor. So fir, when we had rewarded our Dogges with the Imall guttes and the lights, and the bloud the Huntlmen hal- lowed, So hOfZ/orui a coupler, and fo coupled the Dogges, and then returned homeward tanother company of Houndes that lay at aduantage, had their couples caft ofFand we might htarc the Huntfmen cry, horfe, decouple, ,hnt ftreight we hcardc him cry, le Award , and by that 1 knewc that they had the hare and on foote, and by and by I might fee fore and refore, prick, and rcptick ; what is he gone? ha ha ha ha, thefe fchollcrs arc the fimplefl a eatures*

Aftus2. Scen.tf.

Enter Amoretto and his Page,

Page^ I wonder what is become of that Quid de arte amandi, roymaifierhe thatfortbepraftifeof his difcourfe is wonte to court his hobby abroad and at homc,in his chamber makes tfcttfpeech to his greyhound, defiring that moftfayreand amiable dog fo grace his company in a llately galliard , and if the dog feeing him pra^life his lufty pointes , as his crofpoint backcapcr,chance to beray thcroomc , heprefently doffes his Cap, moil foltmnly makes a low-leg to his Lady Ship, taking it for the greatefi fauour in the world, that Ihcc would vouchfafe to leaue her Ciuet box,or her fwcete gloue behind her.

D3 Amtr,

ThfrftarttejroTfsTemsjfBsl

FTeopctKOsf/aand rradsir.

Pj’^i’.Not a word more Strjan’tpicafc you, your Hobby will meete you at rhe lanes end.

iy^m. What lack^ , faith I cannot but vent vnto thee a rooft witty iert of mine.

I hope my maifter will notbreake winde : wilt pleafe you fir to ble fie mine cares with the difeourfeofir,

dy^m. Good faithjthe boy begins to hauc an elegant finack of my ffile : why then thus it was Im\'. a feuruie mecre (^am^ bridge fcholler, I know not how todefinc him.

T^^’’-gc, Nny niaifler, let mee define a mecrc SchoIIcr, I heard a Courtier once define a mrcre fchoHcr , to bee ar.i^ mal fcabiofam , that is , a liujng creature that is troubled with th: itch : or a mecre fcholler , is a creature that can ftrike fire in the morning at his Tmder-box ,put on a paire of lined flippers, fit icwmingtill dinner,and then goto his mcatc when the Bell rings, one that hath a peculiar gift in a cough, and a licence to fpit : or if you will hauc him defined by nc- gatiiJcs. He is one that cannot make a good legge , one that cannot eatc a mcllc of broth cleanly, one that cannot ride a horfc without fpor-galling ; one that cannot falutc a woman, and looke on her dircflIy,oDe that cannot - ■ *

Inough lacke, I can flay no longer ,1 am fo great in child-birth with this ieft : Sirrha, this prxdicable, this faucy groomc, bccaufe when I was in Cambridge , and lay in a Tnindlcbcd vndcr my Tutor, I was content indifcrcet hu- rciliiicjtogiuchim fonie place at the Table , and bccaiifc I inuited the hungrie flaue fometimes to my Chamber , to the canuafing of aTurkicPye,or apiece of Venifon , which my Lady Grand -mother lent me , he thought himfclfe therefore eternally pofleft of my loue > and came hither to take ac- quaintance of me , and thought his old famtliaritie did con- tinue, and wou’d bearchimoutin a matter of wcight.I could not tell how to rid my fclfc better of the troublefomc Burre, then by getting him into the dilcourfc of Hunting , and then tormenting him awhile with ourwordesof Arte , the poorc Scorpion became fpcechcleffe , and fuddenly raililhed. Th Je

Clcarkca

1 I

Ocarkcs are fimplc fcllowes,finipl<r'ellowes. He readt Omd,

T>aee. Simole indeed tl-.ev are , for they want yoi.r courtly CompSntton ofa foolc and of a knaue.Good faith fir a moll abrchiteiea,but me thif.kes u might hauc bcencfolloAcda little farther.

e^m. Ashowmy little knawc.

P^f, Why thus Sir, had you inuited him to dinner at your table 7 and haue put the earning of a Capon r^on him, you fhould hauc feene him handle the knife fo loolilhly , then ran through a iury of faces, then wagging his head,& Hiewing his teeth in familiantic, venter vpon it with the fame method that he was wont to vntruffc an Apple pic , or tyrannife an tgge and Butter. then would I had applied him all dinner time with cleane trenchers, clcanc trenchers. Sc Bill when he had a good bitofmearc,! would hauc taken it from him, by giumghima clcanc Trencher, and fo hauc ferued him m kindncile.

Am.WcW faid fubtlc lack , put me in mindc when I retiirnc againc,that 1 may make my Lady Mother laugh at the Schol- ier.Iletomygamc: for you lackc.l would haueyou imploy your time till my comming, in watching what hourc of the daymy Hawke mutes. • ,

Pane. Is not this an excellent office to be Apothepne to his WO' Ihips hawke* to fit fcouting on the wall, how the Phi- ficke woikes , and isnot my maifter an abfolutc villainc , that ioues his Ha A kc,hts Hobby , and his Grey-bound, more then any mortall cTcatiire • do but difpraife a feather of his ha A’kes traine, and he wiiihcs his mouth , and fweares, for he can doe

thatonclv with a good grace, that you arc the moft fiiallow

braind fellow that liuesido but fay his horfe Rales with a good pre(ence,and hee's your bond-flauc: when he returnes He tell twentie admirable lyes of his hawkc,and then I fhall be his little rogue & bis white villaine for a whole weeke after. Well let others complaine,but I thinkc there is no fclicitic to the fer- ttingofafoolc.

Afl.j. Seen. I.

Sty Rad. Recorder. Page. Sig.Immerito.

SJUd. Signior/iwwertftf, you remember my caution, for

the titlic^jSc my promifc fortaiming my tidies atfucharate.

/*w, I, and picafe your worfliip Sir.

^ Sir'^d. You muftput in fecunty tor the performance of it in fuch forte as I and maifter Recorder Ihalllikeof.

Im. I will an't plcafc y cur w'orlhip, - S^Rad. And bccaufel wilibc lurcthatl haue conferred this kindenefle vponafufifidcnt man, 1 haue defired maifter Recorder to take examination of you.

Tag. Mymaiftcr(it fecme$)tak’> him forathiefe, buthe hath fmall reafon for it, as for learning u*s plahic he neuer ftolc any, and for the lining he knowee hiiTifche how he comes by itjforlett himbutcateameafleof furmenty thisfeauenycare, and yet he lhall neuer be able to rccouer himfelfe.’alaspoore fiieepe that hath fallen into the hands of fuch a fox,

S,T{ad, Good maifter Recorder take your place by me, and make tryall ofhis gif ts.is the elerke there to record his ex- amination,oh the Page fhall feme the turnc.

/’^i^.Tryalof his gtfts,ne ucr had any gifts a better tryal,why Immeritahh gifts haue appeared in asraanycolourcs, asthe Rayn-bowc, firft to maifter Kmoretto in colour of the fattine fiiite he wcarcs:to ray Lady in the fimilitude of a loofc gowne; to my maifter, in thehkeneffe ofa filucr bafen,and ewerrto vs Pages in the (emblance of new fuites and poyntes. So maifter xiyimortuo playes the gul in a piece ofa parfonagermy maifter adomes his cuppoord with a piece of a parfonagc,my miftres vpon good dayes iputs on a piece of a parfonage, and we Pa- ges playe at bio we points for a piece of a parfonage,! thinke heers tryall inoughfor one mans gifts,

Reco. For as much as nature hath done her part in making you a hanfome likely man.

Tag He is a hanfome young man indeed, and hath a pro- per gelded parfonage.

Reco. In the next place,fomc art is requifite forthepcr- fecdon of naturc:for the tryall whereof, at the requeft of my worfhipfull friend,/ will in fome forte propound queflions fitt to be refolued by one of your profcfljicn,lay what is a per- fon that was neuer atthe vniuerfity.

Im-

hn* A pcrfonthat was ncucr in the vniucrfity,{s a liuing

creature that can caicatithepiggc. j j j j

Rec, Very well anfwcrd, bur you ihould nauc added, and irsuH be officious to hispatrone: write downe ihat anfwcrto flicw his learning in logick. ,, , ji • j

boy write that downc.Vcry learnedly m good faith I pray now let me askc you one queftionthat 1 remem- ber, whether is the Mafculinc gender or the feminine more worthy i

/w. The Feminine fir. jr-ri

Sir Rad.lht tight anfwcr.the right anfwer .In good faith 1 h.iuc bcene of that mind alwayesj write boy that, to Inew hec

is a Grammarian. . n i y-. r

‘pytf, Nomarucllmy maifierbe agamn the Grammer, tor

he hath alw’avcs made faife lattnein the Genders.

See. What Vniucrfity are you of?

/^.Ofnonc. ii .

tells ftucthjto tell trueth is an excellent vertnc/

Eo\ make two hcads,one for his learning, another for “i* tucs , and referre this to the head of his vcrtucs,not of his

Whar,balfe a mefle of good qualities referred to an afic

Sir Nowc maifter Recorder, if it pleafe you I will examine him in an author, that will found him the depth, a bookc of Aftfonomy othcrwifc called an Alma-

Y good. Sir Radcrike, it were to be wilhed that there w^c no other booke of humanity, then there would not bee fuch bufie ftatc-pryingfcllowes as arc now a dayes, proceede

Sir:R<td. What is the Dominicall letter? ^

7»#.C,fir,and pleafe your worfhip.

Sir Rad. A very good anfwer, a very good anfwer , me very anfwer of the booke , write downe that and referre it to his

skill in philofophy. i • j

i«^^.C,the Dominican lctter.it is true, craft and cunning ^

fb dommere: yet rather C and D,arc doininicall letters, that is crafty Danfery,

S.Rad. How many daiejhath September/*

If», Aprilljiineand Nouember, February hath 2 8. alone and all the reft iiath 3 o.and one •

S .Rad. V ery learnedly in good faith, he hath alfo a fnaac kc in poetry , write dow'ne that boy, to fhew his learning inpo- etry.

How many miles from Waltham to London?

/w.Tweluc Sir.

«y./i;W.How many from Newmarket to Grantham ?

Ten Sir.

Without doubt he hath beene fomc. Carriers horfe. call you him thatiscunningim i ,2.3,4,/. and

the Cipher?

Im. A good Arithmatician.

S.Rad. Write downe thatanfwearcofhis , tofhow hii learning in Arithmctick:

Hemuft nedcs be a good Arithmetician that counted money fo lately.

When is the new raoone?

Inf. The laft quarter the /. day at 2. of the clokeand/S, sninuts in the morning.

Write him downe, how cal you hira,that is weather*

wife?

Reeor, A good Aftoncmcr,

S/K^d. Sirrha boy write him downe for a good Aftronomer# Page. As Gulit aftrat

S.Rad.V^hdttdiy ofthemonthlightstheQueencs day on.^ 7iw,The 1 7.of Nouember.

S.Rad. Boy refeere this to his vertucs,and write him down agoodfubieft.

‘p4'^.Faith he svere an excellent fubiefl for 2.or 3 .good wits, he would make a fine Aftc for an ape to ride vpon.

And thefe fhall fufficc for the parts of his learning, now it rcmaincs to try whether you bcc a mao ofgoodvtre-

rance

Th^ ret*Yfiejr4m Ternijptsi

TancCi that ii, whether you can aske for the ftrayed Heifer with the white face, as alfo chide the boyes in the Delffie,and bid the Sexton whippe out the doggestlec ineeheareyour voyce,

/w* If any man or woman.

J.T^^/.Thats too high.

/w.lf any man or woman*

W.Th ats too lowe.

bn. If any man or woman , can tell any tydings of a Horfc withfowre feete, two earcs, that did ftraye about the feuenth howre, three minutes in the /orenoone the fift day.

Itookeof a horfe iuftas it were thcEcclipfeoftbe

Moone.

S. Boy wryte him downe for a good vttcrancc.* Maiftcr Recorder I thinkc he hath bccnc examined fuffi- ciently,

I, Sir Radtrkkf , tis fo, wec hauc tride him very throughly.

Pag.\ we hauc taken an inuentory of his good parts and pri- zed them accordingly.

S.^d.Sipxior\mmerite,(oTa(nmch as wehaue made a dou- ble tryall of thee, the one of your learning , the other of your erudition ; it is expedite alfo in the next place to giuc you a fewe exhortations , confidering the greateft Clatkes arc not the wifert men: this is therefore fiift to exhort you to abflaine from Controucrfics- Secondly not to gird at men of worlhip, fuch as royfelfe,but to vfeyout fclfc difcrcctly. Thirdly not to fpeake when any man or woman coughs;doc fo, and in fo doing I will perfeuer to bee your worfhipfull friend and louing patron*

I»».Ithanke your worlhip, you haue bcenc the deficient caufeof my preferment.

Sir 'Rs/J. Lead \mmerito \n to myfonne, and let him dif« patch him, and remember my tithes to bee referued, paying twelue pence a ycare • I am going to.Moorcfiddcs, to

£ a fpeake

ThereturHeJrmferHAjju^

^akewidianvnthriftl Should tneete at the middle Temple wout a pitrchafe,whcn you hauc done folio vv vs. Exeunt Jmmerito and the Page.

Afl, 3. Scen.2*

Sir Rad: and Rjscordcf,

Sir Rad. Harke youMaifter Recorder ,t haueflc/htmjr prodigall boy notably , notablic in letting him dcale for this liuing, that hath done him much, much good I alTurc ydu-

Rec. You doc well Sit Raderick^, to beftowe your liuing vpon fuch an one as will be content to (hare , and on Sunday to fay nothing , whereas your proud vniuerlity princox thmkcs he is a man of fuch merit the world cannot fufficiently endow him with preferment, an vnthankfull viper , an vn« thankcfull Viper that will fling the man that reuiuedhim* Why ift not (Irange to fee a ragged clarke.

Some (lamell weaucror fome butchers fonne:

That ferubd a late within a (leeueles go wne.

When the Commenccmcnt.like a morice dance^.

Hath put a bell or two about his legges,

Created him a fweet cleane gentleman:

How then he gins to follow fafhions.

He whofe thin fire dwell in a fniokyc roufc.

Mud take T obacco and mud weare a locke.

His thirfty Dad drinkes in a wooden bo wle.

But his fweet fclfe is feru’d in filuer plate.

His hungry fire will ferape you twenty legges, , , ForonegoodChridmasmealconNew-ycarcsday,. , But his ma we mud be Capon crambd each day.

He mud etc long be triple bcncficcd,

tls with his tongue heel thunderboltthc world^.

And diake each pefant by his dcafe-mans care* |

But had the world no wifer men then I,

Weede pen the prating parates in a cage, !

AchayrcacandleandaTindcrbox. j

I

A iliacked chamber and a ragged gowre Should be their landcs and whoV pofl'tfnonSj^ Knights, LordsjSc lawyers fliculd be k>g’d & dwd Within thole oucrftately heapesof flone.

Which doting ryrc«^ in old age did ereft.

Well it were tobcw ifliedthatneuerafchollcr in England might haue aboiic fbrtic pound a ycarc.

Sir Rad. Faith maifter Recorder, if it went by wifhing, there ffiould ncucr an one of them all haue aboue twenticayeare; a good ftipend,a good ftipcdjmaiflcr Recordcr.I in the meane timcjliowfoeuerl hate them all deadly, yet lam faynctogiue them good vvords.Oh they are pcfti!entfellowes,they fpcalee nothing but bodkins,and pifle vincgar.Wcll,do what I can in outward kindncfle to them, yet tiiey doe nothing but be- ray my houfetas there was one that made a couple otknauifli verfes on my countiy Chimney now in the time ofmy foiour- ning here at Londontand it was thus ,

Sir Raderickfi keepes no Chimney Cauelcrc,

That takciTobacco aboue once a ycare.

And an other made a couple of verfes onmyDaughtci that learn es to play on the vial I degamh.

Her vyall degamho is her beft content.

For twixt her legges fhe holds her inflrmnent.

Very knauilh , very knaui<h , if you looke vnto it maiflcr Rccordcr,Nay they haueplayd many a knauilh trickebefide with me . Well , tis a Hiame indeede there fliould be any fuch priuilcge for proud b.ggars as Cambridge , and Oxford are. But let them go, and if euer they light in my handcs,ifl do not plague them^et me neucr returne home againc to fee my vvifes way ting mayde.

Rec»r» T his fcornc of knights is too egregious.

B«it how Ihould thefe young coltes proucamblers> When the old heauy galled ladcs do rrot.*

There lhall you fee a puny boy ftart vp,

And make a theame againfl common lawyers: Then the old vnweldy Camels gin to dance, ' This fiddling boy playing a fit of mirth ;

ts The

The gray bcardc fcrubbe,and laugh and ciy good, <»ood

Tothcmagaine,boy fcurdgc the barbarians; ** *

But we may giuc the loofcrs Icaiic to talke,

We haiie the coyne,thcn tei them laugh for me.

Y ct knights ana lawyers hope to fee the day.

When we may fhare here their polTcffions,

And make Indentures of their chafFred f kins:

Dice of their bones to throw in meriment.

Sir Rad. Ogood fayth maifter Recorder, ifl could fee that

^ay once.

. Well remember another d ay, what I fayrlchollers arc pryedinto of late,and are found to bee bufyc fellowcs.diftur- Derts ofthe peace, He fay no iEorc,geffc at my meaning,! find a ratr«

Sir Rad. I hope at length England will be wife enough, I hope fo , I faith , then an old knight may haue his wench in a corner without any Satyres or Epigrams. But the day is farre ipet,maift. Recotder,6c Ifeare by this time the vnthriftis arri- ued at the place appointed in Moore fields, let vs hafte to him.

He lookes on his vfatch,

Recor. Indeed this d ayes fubied tranlportcd vs too late, I thinkc we fhall not come much too late* Exemt^

A^. j. Sccn.3.

Enter t/imoretto^his f age dimmer ito hooted,

eAmor, Maiftcr Immerito dchuer this letter to the pofer in my fathers nametmarry withall (bme fprinkling/omc fprink- Ym^.verhffm fdpientifat tf/?.farwcH maifter Immerito.

Imer. I thankc your worfhip moft hariely.

Pag. Isit not a fliame to fee this old dunce learninghis In- duffion at thefc yeares:but let him go,l loofe nothing by him, for He be fworne but for the booty of felling the parfonage Ifhouldhauegone inmine oldcloathes thisChrifimas. A duncclfeeisancighbourlike brutebrea(l,a man may liue by hi^.

aimor, feemet to make verfe.

Amor.

Y he returns from FerttAfjus,

tAtutf* A pox onir,my raufc is not fo witty as Hice was wonte to be, her nofc is like , not yet. plague on thefc mathc- . matikcs,theyhauefpoyl£d my braynein making a verfe.

"page. Hang roc if he hath any more roaihfroatikcs then will fcrue to count the clocke , or tell the meridian howrc by rumbling of his panch* c^w. Her nofc is like.

Page. Acoblcrsft)Ooinghornc»

hnt. Her nofc is like a beauteous naaribonc.

Pag, Marry a fweetc fnotty miftres.

Amor, Fay th I do not like it yet : afle as I w'as to reade a peeccof Arifietle m gicekc ycftcrnight,it hath put mceout of my Englilh vaine tjuite.

Pag, O monflrous lye,lct roc be apointtruflerwhilclliue if he vndcrftands any tongue but Englilh.

Amor. Sirrha boy remember roc whcBil come in Paulcs Churchyard to by a Ronzard,&Z>»^.*^r4r in french & Are- tinc in Italian, and our liardefl wi itc r s in fpanifh , they w i 1 lhar

ficnmy witts gallantly. I doe rellifh thefe tongues in feme bri.Oh now 1 do remember I heare a report oi a Poet newly come out in Hebrew , it is a pretty harfh tongucjand rellifh a gentleman trauellcr, but come letts hart after my father, the ftclds arc fitter to heaucniy meditations.

Exeunt',

• Page, My maifters,! could wifh your prcfcnce at an admi- rable ieft , why prcfently this great linguiflmy mafterwill march through I?aulcs Church-yard. Come to a bookebin- ders (hop, and with a big Italian looke and afpaniih fate afkc for thefe bookes in fpanifh and Italian , then turning, through hisignorr.ncc,ihe wrong end of thebooke vpward vfeacii- on , on this vnknawnc tong after this fort , iirrt looke on the j title and wrinckle his brov;e , next make as though he red the

j firft page and bites a lip, then with his naylc fcorethemargent i as though there were feme notable conceit, and laflly when

, he thinkes hee hath guild the ftanders by fufficiently,throwcs i the bookc away in.a rage fwxaring that hcc. could neuer

finds.

I he return: from rernajjas,

finde l^ookcs of a true prinre fince he vvas laft in Io4.i>ia j en- quire after the next martc , and fo departes. And (o muff l,ror by this time his contemplation is amjcd athis miftres nofe end, he is as glad as if he bad taken Oldend;by his time he be- gins to fpit,and cry boy,carry my cloakeund now I go to at< tend on his wor/hip.

Aff* 2* Seen 4,

Enter Jngeniof 9, F nr or ^ PhantasmA.

Ing^ Come ladds, this winewhetts your refolution in our defi^nciit’s a needy world with fubtillfpirits, and there’s a gentle manlike kinde of begging, that may befeeme Poets in this age.

Furor, Now by the wing of nimble Mercury, BymyThalias filucr founding harper By that caelcfliall Her within my braync.

That giucs a liuing genius to ray lines:

How ere my dulled mtcllefluall.

Capres lefTe nimbly then it did a fore,

Yet will I play a hunt’s up to my mufci

And make her mount from out htt fhuggi/Ti nefr.

As high as is the higheft fpheere in hcauen :

Awake you paltry trulles of Helicon,

Or by this light /le Swagger with you freight:

You grand fyre Phabus with your lonely eye.

The firmaments eternall vagabond.

The heauens promoter that doth pcepe and prye.

Into thea£fes of mortall tennis balls,

/nfpire me ftreight with fomc rare dclicics.

Or /Icdifmountthcefrom thy radiant coach;

And make thee poore Cutcliy here on earth, (

Phan* Currus auriga paterni,

Ing, Nay prethc good F«r(?r,doe not roauc i n rimes before thy time.-thou haft a very terrible roaring mufe, nothing but fquibs and fineierkes , quiet thy fclfc a while and heare thy charge.

Phan;

ITtte-adtsh£e^imo!

Ittgenj^ Let vs on toourdeuifc.ottrplct.ourpro’c^^.'niat ©Id Sir K^dericki^thitne'w printed compenaium oi ail incjui- tycjthathath norayrcdhis countrey Chimn.y oncein 3. wm- tcrsjhcthatlouesto liuc in an od corner here a; London,and effect an odde wench in a nookc, onerhatlcuesto ime in a narrowroomcjthat he may with more faciliiy inrht darke, light vpon his wifes waiting maidc.onc that loves alnc s fliort fermort and a Jong play , one that goes to’a play, to a whore, to his bedde in Circle, good for nothing in the world but to fweate nightcaps, & foulc faire la wne lhirtes,fcede a 'rw fog- gy feruing men, and preferre dunces to liuings ♦ T bts old Sir F.adericki^huror)\xOra\\ bc thy tafkc to cudgcli with thy thick thwart tearmes •• imrryat the firrtgiuc him tome fugar can- dy tearmes , and then if he will not vnty purfc flrmgcs , of his liberality, fling him with tearmes layd in aqua ferns and gun* powder.

Furor. In nouafert animus mutatas dicer eformas^

The Seruilc current of my flyding verfe,

Gentle fhal runne into his thick i kind earcse Where itfhall dwell like a magnifico,

Command his flymic fprightto honour tne;

For my high tiptoe firouting poefye.

But ifhis narrs hath fauoufd him foill.

As to debarrehim by his dunghil thoughts, luflly to cflcemc my vcrfcslowting pitch;

Ifhis earth wroting fnout fhal gin to fcornc,

My verfe thatgiucth immortality:

ThcnyBella per Emathios.

^han. Furor arnta minifir at

Furor, lie fbakc his heart vpon my verfes poynte.

Rip out his gutts witn riuyng poinard;

Quarter his credit with a bloody quill. {

Phan. Calamt, AtramentumyCbartaJihelli,

Sunt femper flud^s arma par at a tuis,

Jng, Inough /'wrer, wee know thou art a nimble fwagge- rcr with a goofe quill : now for you Phantafma^eixuc truliMig. your pointes andliflcn*

F Phan

\^han. Omne tulit punBum.

h”. Marke you iy4morttto%x ’^derickt^onM ,tohjiti ilui! tin’ p ping poetry and fugar cndcsof verfesbedirefted, he IS on*,t;iat vvi! draw outhispockclglafTcthrifcin a walkc, one that diemics in a night of nothing, but naufkc and duet, an I talke of noth ng all day long but his hauke , his hound, and Its m tres, one that more admires the good wrincklc of a bootc , tht cn ious ciinklingot a Hike (locking, then all the Wirt in the world rone thailouesno (chollerbiithnn whofe t) red cares can endure haUeadaylogither,hisfliblowBcfon- ne tes of Ins iniflres, and herlouing pretty creatures, her iBunckey ?nd her puppet .* it Dial bee thy talk(/’^^«r/r/w4)to cutthis guiles throate with fairetearmes, and if he hold fad: for al thy inggling rctiorickc,fal atdef)'auc€withhim,and the poking (licl« he weares,

,P'yaK. Simal extulit enfem,

Ihg^ Come brauc mips, gather vp your fpiritts and let vs march otvhke aduenturous knights, anddifeharge a hundreth porticall fpiritts vpon them.

Ph44. £Ji Jens in mbisyagitartte cstlefcimHsillo*. Exemt^

Aff.5. Sccn./.^

Enter Vkilorusifas^StHdicfo^

StnJ, Well Vhilomupis, we Tieiier feaped fo faire a fcottr- ing; why yonder arc purfevantes out for the french Dodor, andaloagingbcfpokenforhimandhismaninnewgate It was a terrible feare that made vs cart our hayre.

PhiU And canft thou fport at our calamitycs?

And counted vs happy to fcape priibnment ?

Why the wide world that bleflcth feme with waylc,

Is to ourchayned thoughts a darkefome gaylc-.

Stud*. Nay prethee friend tbefe wonted teatmes forgo.

He doubles griefe that comments on a wo.

Pii4 Why do fond men tearme itimpiety»

To fend a wearifbmc fadde grudging Ghofl,

Vnto

Vnto liis home, his Iong,lons,lafting-t;cire?

Or let them make our life Icifc greeuous be.

Or fufftr vs to end our mifcry'.

Stud* Oh no the fentinel! his watch muftkeepe,

Vntill hi.s Lord do lyccncc him to flecpe;

VhU. 1 1 s time to flecpe within out hollowe grauej.

And red v» in the darkefomc w ombe of earths Dead things are graued, anti bodies ate no Icffc Pined and forlornc like Ghodlycarcalcs.

Not long this tappe of loathed life can runne, Spone commeth death, and then our woe i» done. Meane tirpe good Philcmn/Hs be content,

Letfs fpcndb^i ir dayes in hopcfull nicrtynicnt,

Vhil. Cutlf be our thoughts whe ere they dreamc of hopes Band be thofc happs that henceforth flatter vs. When nijfchiefc ooggs vs fliil and ftill for aye.

From our firfl by rth v mill our burying day.

In our firfl gamefome agc,our doting fires Carked and cared to hauc vslcttercd;

Sent vs to Cambridge where ourcyleis lpcnt*

Vs our kindc Collcdge from the teate did tcatet And for'll vs walkc before wc weaned wcare.

From that time fince wandred hauc wc ftilk In the wide world, vrg'd by our forced will.

Nor euer hauc wc happy fortune tryed.*

Then why fhould hope with our tent ftatc abide? Nay let vs run vnto the barefiillcaue,

Pight in the hollow ribbs of craggy clifFe,

Where dreary owles do flirikc the liuc-long night, Chafing away the byrdes of chcarcfiill light:

Where yawning Ghofts do howle in ghaftly wife, Where that dull hollow cy’d that ftaring,lyre, Yclept Di^oive hath his fad manfion.

Him let vs finde,and by his counfell we, W’illendourtoo much yrked mifery.

Stui^ To way !e thy happs argues a daftard minde. '

VhtU T o hcare too long argues an afTcs kindc*

Fa

Lc'ng fiiice the vvorlt chance offhc die was cad, 1

T^hH, Bat ;vay ihouli that woid mrH fo lon» time laft ? |

Stud. Why doth thou now thefe fleepic plaintcs com- me nee?

"^Phtl. Why fliould I ere be duld with patience?

Stud Wife folke do beare w'ithjftmghng cannot mend.

T^hiU Good rpirjfs muft with thwarting fates contend i

Stud Some hope is left our fortunes to re’dreffe, !

T>hil. No hope but this, ere to be comfortlefic, |

Stud Oiir liucs remainder gentler hearts may findc, I

Phil, Tire gentleft harts to vs will proue vnkind.

A£):. 4. Seen. I.

SirRadericke andPyodigOyiit one corner of the Stage. Recon and lu^moretto at the other. Trvo Pages fcouring of Tobacco pipes.

Sir.Rad.yi M.ifecor</er hath told you lawe , your |

land is forfeited; and for me notto take the forfeiture, were to |

breakc the Qucencs law.for marke you, its law to take the for- feiture; therefore not to breake it is to breake the Queencs law. i and to breake the Queencs law is not to be a good fubie(ff,and /meanc to bee a good fubieff; . Befides, 1 am a luflice of the peace,and being ludice of the peace I muttdoiuftice,that is lawjthat is to take the forfeiturcjcfpecially hauing taken notice of it . MarrieMaiffcrPri?^ifi^<7,hcre area few fhillings, ouer and befides thebargaine.

Prod. Pox on your Ihillings, sblood a while agoc, before he had me in the lurch, who but my coozen Prodtgo , yon are welcome my coozen Trodigo , take my coozen Trodigees horfc, acup of Wmc for my coozen 'Trodigo , good faith you fhall fit here good coozen Prodigo , a cleanc trencher for my coozen Prodigo, hauc a f,Jcciall care of my coozen Prodigoes lodging : now maifter "Prodigo with a pox , and a few fhil- lings for a vantage , a plague on your fhillings , pox on your fhillings , if it were not for the ^ergeant which dogges me at

my

The returnejrom PemjjUf. '

tnyHfcles .aplag'iconyour/ljil'ings, pox on yourfliillings, pcx on your fel.e an I your ftiiHings , pox on your wor- flup.if 1 catch ihcc at Ojlend: 1 dare not ftaycforthe Ser- geant. Exit.

S-Rad-pav. Good faith Maifler Prodigo 'n in excellent fellow, he takes the GnUn ehtillitio fb excellently.

Amer.Page. He is a good liberall Gentleman, he hath be- ftowed an ounce of T obacco vpon vs , and as long as it lafls, come cut and Iong-tai!e,wecle Ipend it as liberally for his fake.

S.Rad.P(tge.QomtM.x\\tVv(>e quickly, while my maifter is in his melancholiehumour,it’siuft the melancholy of a Col- liers horfe.

Amor. page. If you cough after your Tobacco, for a

punifhment you fhall kifle the Pantofle.

S.Rad. It'safoulcoucr-fightjthat amanof worfihip can- not kecpe a wench in his houfe . but there muft be muttering andfiirmillng; it was the wifeft faying that my father euervt- tered.that a wife was the name of neceflitic, not of plcafiire ; for what do men marry for, but to ftocke the ir ground, and to haueonetolooketotheiinnen, fit at the vpper end of theta- ble,and carue vp a Capon : one that can-^weare a hood like a Hawke, and couei her foule face with a Farine : but there’s no plcafure alwayes to be tyed to a piece of Mutton/ometimes a mefleof ftewd broth will do well , and an vnlac’d Rabbet is beft of all rwell for mine owne part , 1 hatie no great caufe to complainc ,for I am well prouided of three bounfing wen- ches,, that are mine owne fee-fimple : one of them I am pre- fently to vifir, if I can rid my felfe cleanly of this companyXet how the day goes : ( hee pnh his fVatch out.) precious coales , the time is at hand , 1 muff meditate on an excufe to begone.

Record^Tht which 1 fay, is grounded on the Statute I fpakc of before, enaffed in the laigne of Henry

y^w(7nltisaplainecafc: whereon I mooted in ourTem- plc,and that was this : put cafe there be three brcthcren, John a Nokes , lohn a Na{h ^ ixxit lohnaStile : lohnaNokes thc elder, lehna Najh the younger, lohn a SiiU the youngeft of all , lohn

F 3 ' - aNaJlj

7 hsrttttrnfjrm rtrmjfHS.

*Kep) th« younger, cvcth witlioiir ifli'e of Ws body law- hilly begotcen : whctfier Hiall his lands afccnd lo lohn A Noakfs fhc elder, or difeend ro lohn a Stile ihsyoungeft of all ? The anfwcris ; The lands do collaterally defeend, not afeend.

Record. Very true, and for a proofe hereof, I will fhew you a place in Littleton , which is vetyc pregnant in this point.

A£Ius4« Scena 2.

Enter Ingeniofoj Furore Phantajma.

Ing, He pawne my wittes, that is, my reuenucs,my Iand,my money, and whatfoeuer I hauc,for I haue nothing but my wit, that they arc at hand : why any fcnfiblc fnout niay winde Maifter Amoretto and his Poraandcr,Mainer and his

twoneates fectc that weare no fockes, Sir R^eri ke by his ramnai/h complexion . Olet ^orgoinus hjrcunty S*t. Lupm in fai>nla. Furor fitethcToixch-box of your witte • Rhnntafmay let your inuention play tricks like an Ape ; begin thou andopenlikcaphlapmouthcd Hound; foWo'NibonPhantafm fH4 like a Ladies Puppic ; and as for me, let me alonc,llc ceme after like a Water- dogge that will fhake them oflP,whcn 1 hauc no vfc of them: My n}aifters,the watch-word is giuen. Fmor difeharge.

Fttror to I Thc'grcat proic^f or of the Thunder-bolts,

S.'R^d* j He that is wont to pilTe whole clouds of raine. Into the earth vafl gaping vrinall.

Which that one ey’d fubficer oftheskie,

Don Phoebui empties by calidific ;

He and his Townefmen Planets brings to thee, Moll fatty lumpes of earths facilitie.

S.'R^d. Why will tins fcllowcs Enghdr breake the Quecnes [^ace, 1 will not feeme to rcgaide him*

Macansi

fPhant. 1 UHecoe»M autuis edite regihtu^ to Ant, 1 0 et prapdifitn, dulce dccta meum]

Dij faciant votit vela fecunda ttiis.

At^. God faue you <iood inaif}er'^r<jr^f>‘, and good for— runes follow your dclerts ; I thinki 1 liaue curft him fuHicient* !y in few words.

d’.T^W.What haue we here , three begging Souldiers , come you from Ofiei^d, ot from If-e/and i

Tag. CmHmptCHs,einMdibei'i \ hauc vented all the Latin one man had.

rhan, ^Imd dicam amplitu Idominifimilu es.

Amor. fag. Let him alone I pray thee , to him againe , tickle him there.

Phant, ,‘^am dijpari domino dominaru}

Pec. Nay that's plaine in Zirr^row, for if that fcc*(imp!<,and the fee taile be put together , it is called hotch poi cli; now rhis word hotch potch in Englifh is a Pudding , for in Inch apud- ding is not commonly one thing onely ,but one thing with another.

Amor. I thiokc Ido remember this alfo at a mooting in our Temple ;fo then this hotch. potch fccmes.a teimc of fimi- htude.

purorxo Gwat^pw<r/»«'jofthy head take keepe,

S.Rad, Good Virgo watch, while that thy worfhip fleepe, And when thy fwelling vents amaine.

Then P/yc«bcthy fportingGhambctlaine.

S.Rad. I thmkc the deuill hathfeni fomeof hit.family to torment me.

Amor. There is taile generall and railcfpcciall,and Z/V//er#« is very copious in th at the ame •• for taile generall is, w hen lands ate giuen toa man and hisheyresof his body begotten : Taile Ipeciall , is when lands are giuen to a man., and to hiswife^ andtotbeheircsof their twobodyes lawfully begotten, and that is called Taile Ipeciall.

S.Rad. Very well, and for his oath Twill giuc a diflinffion ; there is a matcriall oath . ^d a formall oath : the formall oath

•may

Tke reiurnejh^ Termj^sl i

isif he hroLta , flfci nraTcnaJ? twf nvt be bicJam : four msrhe you fir , the law is to take pface before the conference , and theefore you may,%^ing me your coonlcUer , caft him in the fute : there wants nothing to the full meaning of this place.

Phant. Nihil hie KtH Carmina def".nt.

Irtg. An excellent obferuation in good faith , fee how the i old Fox teacheth the young Cub to wurry a /heepe , or l a- |

thcr fits himfclfc likean old Goofc,hatching the addle blrainc j of maifier nyfmorettc: there is no foolc to the Sattin foole,the Veliietfoolcjtlic perfumde foolc, and therefore the witty Taylon of this age, put them vnder colour of kindnefleinto a pairc of cloath- bags, where a voyder will not feruc the , turnctand there is no knaue to the barbarous knaue.thc moul- i

ting knaue, the pleading knaue : what ho maifter Recorder i i yiii^etNoHerintvniHerftferprefenteSjtXOiZ'fiOtAhttVVLleS.O ■ \ be fecle it in his fifi. 3

Phant, LMittotibimetuleUfCAncrosimitarelegendo,

S,Ritd. to Furor, Fellow what art thou that art (b bold I fur, I am the baftard of great Mer curie.

Got on Thalia when fhe was a fleepe :

My Gawdic Grandfirc.grcat ^Afollt high, i

Borne was I hearc, but that my luck was ill.

To all the land vpon the forked hill.

Thant. O crudelis Alexi nil me a carmina curaef 'i

Nil Hofiri miferere mori me dein^ cages ?

S.Rad.Pag, If you vife them thus, my maifter is a lufticc of peace, and will fend you all to the gallowes. j

‘Thant. Hei mthi ^uad domino non licet ire tuo* J

lag* Good maifter i?e«rdrr,lctme retame you this terms for my caufc,for mjr caufc good maifter Recorder.

Record. I am retained already on the contrary part ,1 hauc taken my fee, be gon,bc gon.

Ing. It’s his meaning I fhould come ofiF ; why here is the true ftilc of a villaine , the truefaith of a Lawyer : it is vfuaii with them to be bribed en the one fidc,and then to take a fee of the other : to plead w<akely,and to be bribed and rebribed on the one fide, then to be feed and refeed of the other , till at

length

i

d ht mwi mp'dm

leti»th,per variot c/«/«j,by putting the cafe fo often, ill CV make thcfr ciientfolanUe.that they may calc them ypin f combe cafe and pack them horocfiom the rcarme, asthoug incnaa traucllcdto London to fell his horfconcIy,andhaJing lolt their fiecccs.liue afterward Hkcpoorelhornelhccpe

Furou Gods abcue that know great Furors tame.

And do adore grand poet Furors name:

Granted long hnce at heauens high parliament,

T fiat who fo Furor ftial immortalize,

No y awninggoblins fhallfretjuenthis graue.

Nor any bold prdnmptuous ctirr fha’luare To iifthisleggc againfl his facred duft.

W here ere 1 haue my rymes, thence vermin ffjf All.fauing f hatfoulc fac’d vermin poucriv.

This fucks the eggs of my inuention:

Euacuates my witts full pigeon houfe.

Now may it plcafe thy generous dignity 5 Totake this vermin napping as he lyes.

In the true trappe of liberalhty; lie caufe the Pleiades to giue thee thanks, lie w rite thy name within the fixteenth fphearc: lie make the Antarticke pole to kifTc thy toa.

And Cinthia to do homage to thy tayle.

Sir Radt Pretious coles,thou a man of worfhip and Itidice too?It’$ eucn To,he is ether a maddeman or a coniurerdt were, well if his words were c9camined,tofee}fthe)' be the Ojicenes or no.

Pha». NuneJimsaudisvt^uiesdiuinMSiyffelU,

Diemihi^quinummesnen hulsetvndepcUti Amor, I am ftil haunted with thefe needy Latdnift fellowcst the heft counfell I can giue is to be gone.

*Phart, J^uod peto da Caie^non peto cottfUmm.

Am. Fellow looke to your brainesiyou aremad,you aremad* Phan, Semel tnJanitiimHs omnes,

Maiflcr Recorder, is it not a fhame that a gallant can- not walke the ff rcetc quietly for needy f ellow<s,and that, after there i»a ftatute come out againff begging?

He ^rtkes his brejl,

O Phan.

ffjAHt, Te^orapercuJpty^eEhi; ano^r»horafiHnt,

'^c«r. I warrant you, they arc feme needy gradiuites' the Vniucrfity'brcakcs windetwilc a ycarc,and Icts-flie fiich as thefe arc,

lug. So hc» maiftcr Recorder, you that are one of the Diuels fellow commoners, one that fizeth tlic Dcuils buttei ies, finaes attdperiiificsvciy lawilHy : one tbsrarefo dearc xoLftcifery that he neucr puts you out of commons for non paimtnt ; yon that line like a fumricr rpon. the tiunes of the people : you whofe vocation ferues to enlarge the territories of Hell , that ( b it for you ) had bcenc no bigger then a paire of Stockes or apillohe .-youthathate a fehoiler, becaufehe deferies your Alfes cares ; you that are a plague fluffed Cioake-bagge of all iif quitic , wlrch the grand Seruing manofHcU will one day trufle vp behind him,. and carry to his fmokie Wardc- robc.

•'Kecor. What frantick fellow art thou, that art pof&fl with tliefpiiitof maledidionJ

Furor, Vile muddy clod of bafe vnhallowcd clay, ThouflimicfprightedvnkindcSaricen;

When thou wett bornc=damc Nature caft her Calfe, Eurrage and time had made thee a great Oxe,

And now thy grinding iavves daioure quite.

The fodder due to vs of hcaucaiy fpright.

Phantt. Nefafla te po/rtit- die ^uicu:!que primuat et facrilegu

‘Froduxit arhs innepotum psruiciem oh propriuntqut pugi,

Ingeni. 1 pray you LMinfeiur Ploidon, of what Vniiierfitie was the firft Lawyer of, node forfooth , for your Lawc is ruled by real'on , and not by Arte .’great reafon indeed that aPloydenift fliould bee mounted on atrapt Palfrey , with a round Veluctdifh on his head,tokeepewatme the broth of his witte , and a long Gownc , that makes him looke like a Ce^M arma toga , whilcft the poorc ty^nflotelians walkc jn^ flyyae cloakc and. z clohyenetiM hoafe, hard by the

Oyflea-

Thercti^rnifrcmTemAijns:

Oyftff-wifiiJ and the filly Poet goes niufflcd ift Iii* Oo^e to efcape the Counter . And you Maifter ^meretto , that art the chicte Catpenter or Sonets , a priuilegcd Vicat for the lawlefic marriage of Inice and Paper , you that are good for nothing hut to commend in a lette fpeach , to colour the qnantitic of your MiHrcfics ftoole , and fwcare it is mott iweefe Ciuet : it’ 5 fine when thst Puppcc-player Fortune, mult pul fuch a Birchen-lane pofi in fo gc^ a (uite/och an Affc to fo good fortune.

Atxo \ Father fhall I draw?

Sir %*d. No fonae , kcepc thy peace, and hoide the peace.

Inge, Ksy do not draw , lead you chance to bepille yol> credit.

Furor . Tle^ere ft nequeo fitferos, AchsrentA tKoueeo,

Fcarefull (yUegecra with her fnakie twine.

Was ctirfcd dam vnto thy damned fclfc t Fi nd Hirem tigers in the defert Rockes,

Did foflcr vp thy loathed haicfull life.

Bale Igfierance the wkked cradle rockf.

Vile Barharifme was wont to dandle thee;

Some wicked hell-hound tutored thy yoatl^

And all the griflyfprights of griping hell,

With muining lookc hath dogd thee fince thy hitth .* See bow the fpirits do hoiicr ore thy head.

As thick as gnattes in fummer eucning tid^

Balefull ex^/fi?/7,prcethe flay a while,

Till with my veries I hauc rackt his foulc :

And when thy fculc departs aCock may be.

No blankc at all in hells greatLotteric.

Shame fits and howlcs vpen thy loathed graue. And howling vomit vp in filthy guife.

The hidden Rories of thy villanicst

G »

SirlF^di

^ 1

Sir Rad» The Djiull sny maifters, the Deuili in the likcncfl* of a Poct^way niy maillcrs.aw jy.Exif^ '■

Vhaft. Arma virHtnq catio, 1

J^e-y:ft(gisahdeme»s}

dA'mir, 3afe dog, it is not the enffome in Italy to dravy vp« on cuery idic cur that barkes^and d d it Hand with iny reputa» | tion:oh,wel! go too, thankc my Father for your lioes,

/«^.Foiid gul whom I would vndertakc ro baflmado quick* ^ ly, though there Were a mutket planted in thy mouth, are not you the young drouer of liuings. Academico told me of that hancsfteeplefaircs. Bafeworme mufl: thou needes difcharge thy craboun to batter downe the wallcs of Icarnmg,

Ainor.l thinkelhauc committed fome great finne agalnfi my Mtftris, that I am thus tormented with notable villaines: bold pefants I fcornc,! fcornc them.

Furor to I Nay praythec good fwcet dmell do not thou part>

Recor. j liikc an honeft dcuill that will Ihcw Himfelfcin a true hcllilh fmoky hew.*

How like thy fnowt is to grcatLucifkrs ?

Such tallents had he, fitch a glaring eye.

And fuch a cunnii^ flight in villanie*

Recot\ Oh the impudencic ofthis age, and if I lake you m > my quarters.

Fftrer, Bafc flauc ilc hang thee on a crofled rime.

And quarter.

is gon*,Far»r,ftay thy fury.

S,Rad.V ^g.\ pray you getitlcrae giuc 3. groats for a fliiil;ng. .

y&w^.P^^.What wil you giuc me tor a good old futc of ap* parell?

P^4«. Hihet ft 7m:fi'4 etformic£ fua hihs inefl .

/«^.Gramcrciegoodlad>:this isourlbare in happinefle, to torment the happy: Ids vval ke a long aud laugh at the ieR, its no flaying here long, iciiftSrV Radernks army of baylifes and do wncs be fent to apprehend vs.

Vrocul hinCyfrocui its prophani.

Ilc lafli Apolkm felfc wit!) ierkuig hand,

Vnlcfle he pa wnc his wit to buy me land.

Ad.

tkfiturnefrmPernaljiiS,

A^t.4 Sccn.^.

Bur bags, Kempe,

^»r.NTow i^'wecanintcrta'nc thefc fc^ollersat

alow rate,it wil be wc!l,thcy haue oftentimes a good corccitc in a parr.

Kemps Its rri!eincJeede,bonefl ^DickJovX the llaues are fon'C- whatproud,andbcfides,itisa good fpertin aparttofee them ncuerrpeakcintheirwalke,butattheendof the ftage,iuAas though in walking with a fellow we ihould neiicrfpeakcbut at auile,agatejOradirch,whetcaman can go no further. I was once at a Ccmcdic in Cambridge^and there 1 fa w a para- fire makefaces and mouths of all forts on this fafhion*

Bur.B little teaching will mend thefc faults , and it may bee befides they wiUbe able to pen a parr.

KempJeew of the vniuerfity pen plaies well , they fmcH too much orthat v^itcr OuuifZnd that writer LMetamerphsfs,3ind- talkc too much cfPre/erpina & Juppiter,Vlhy hetes our fellow puts them all downe, l3ndBtK/oH/o»too, Othat Ben lonfon is a peftilcnt fellow , he brought vp Hsrace giuing the Poets a pilfbut our fellow Shakf]}eare hath giuen him a purge that madehim beray his credit:

^w.Itsajilircvvd fellow indeed : Iwondcr thefe fchollers flay fo long, they appointed to be here, prefe tly that we might try thcm:oh here they come.

Take heart thefc lets our clouded thoughts refine, The fun /hines brighteft when it gins decline, and M.Sr»W.God fauc y ou. iTewp,M.P«#/.and l^Otiofs well met.

PA//.Thc fame to you goodJM.12?»r^4r^e. WhatMJwewye how doth the Emperour of Germany?

SW-God faue yo\xfA,Kcmpe:yttdcoxatfA,Kefnpe from d a-*

cing the morrice ouer the AIpcs.

iCfwy.Wellyou merry knauesyou may ccroc to the honor of it one day, is it not betfcptomakc a foole of the world as I hauedone^en to b^ookd of the world, as you fcholki^t aref

03,

Tfte ret arm from Termffirs', ’

Butbemcrrymy lads.yauhaue Happened vpon tlicttipf! ex- cellent vocation in the world for monc>';they come North and '

South to bringittooiirplayhoufc, and for honours , whoof more rep jrt,tli£n "DickSBurhage & ^Vill:Ke>npey He is not cou- ted a Gentleman. that Vvicrnt%Ti<:>x.'DiclCBHrbagt & there’s not a country wench that can dance Sellcngers Round b Jt can talke of Dick^Burhage and H^iflKempe.

F^/7.Indeed M.^Cewsieyou arc very famous, but that is al well for wotkes in print as your part jn knc.

Kempe.Xon are at Cambridge ftill with ficc kne,andbelii- fly humorous pocts.you muff vntruffc,i road this my laft cir- cuit,purpofely becaufcl would be iiidge of your actions*

pray you take feme part in thisbooke and < aftif,that Imayfcewhatwillfityoubcfijithinkc your voice would ferue for Hierommo, obferuc how I aft it and then i- mitate mec.

Stud , Who call Hiertnimo from his naked bed f And &c»

B»r.You will do well after a while.

^Tmy.Now for you, me thinkes you fliould belong to my tm ition,and your face me thinkes would be good fora foolilh ^ May re or a fbolifli iufticc ofpcacc:markc me. — — — — — Forafmuch as there be two ftates of a common wealth,the one of peace, the other of tranquility ; two (late s of warre , the one of difcord.thcothcrof dilfention ; two ftates of an incorpo- ration, the one of the Aldermen, the other of the Brethren.* two ftates of magiftrates, the one of gouerning, the other of bearing rule, now ,as 1 faid euen now for a good thing-, thing cannot be faid too often : Vertuc is the fhooinghorne of j

iuftice , that is, vertuc is the fhooinghorne of doing well, j

that iSjVettucis the fhooinghorne of ^oingiuftly, itbehoo- j

ueth mce and is my part to commend tliis fhooinghorne I

vntoyou.1 hope this ’word fhooinghorne doth liot offend |

any ofyoumy worfhipfiill ! rethren, for you bccing the wor- 1

ihipfuli headfmen of the towne , know w'cll what the home |

meancth. Now therefore I am determined not onely to i

teach but alTo to inilruft^not onely the ignorant, but alfo \

ibe f

4

tlie Cmple, net oncly what is their duty toward* thelrbettert* but alfo whatis their dutyc towards their fuperJours** come Jet nice fee hew you can doc , ilc downc in the chaire.

7;W/.Forafin«ch as there be.Scc.

Kentp. thon wilt do well in time, if thou vrilt be ruled by thy bcttetSjthatisbyiny feife, andfiich 2,r3»i« Aldermen of the pJayhos'fcas I an’»

like your face, and the proportion of your body fo» hard the 3 .1 pray iM.P^i/.lct me fee you aft a little of it* Pi://.Now is tlie winter of our difeontenr.

Made glorious fummer by the for jic of Yorkc,

Bar, Very well 1 alfurcyouswell M. Vhtl. and M, Sttfd^wce fee what ability yonarc obi pray waike with vs to oar fellows, and wcclc agree prcfently.

PAi/.We will follow you flraight M. ISiurbAj^e^,

Kempt. Its good manners to follow vs,Maiftcr P^f/.and Maiffcr Otiefo.

l^hil. And nruft the bafeft trade yecld VS reliefcf Muft we be praftifd to iliofc leaden fpouts.

That nouglu downevent but what they do rccciucJ Some fatal! fire hath fcorcht our fortunes w ing.

And ftill we fall, as we do vpward fpring;

As we firiuc vpward to the vaulted fleie,:

Wc fall and fcclc our hatcfull deftiny.

Smd. Wonder it isfwcct friend thy pleading breath.

So like thefweet blaft of the fouthweft wind,

Melts not thofe rockes of ycc,lhofc mounts of woe, Congeald in frozen hearts of men below.

VhiU Wonder as well thou maift why mongft the wauesji- MongO the tempeftuoas wanes on raging fea.

The waylingMarchant can nopitty craue;.

What cares the wind and weather for thc-ir^aines? Onefirikss the fayle,another turnes the fame.

He fhakes the maine,an other takes the Ore,

Another labqureth and taketh paine, Xopnmpe^efca into the fea aj>ait^^

Still they tike painct, flill the loud windesdpblovrc Till the ftiips prouder tnafl be layd bclowe:

Stfi. Fond world that ncrc thinlces on that aged man. That Ariojloes old fwih paced nun,

Whofe name is T ymc,wno neucr lins to rim,

Loaden with bundles ofdecayed names,

The whi :h in Letbes lake he doth intombe,

Saue oncly thofe which fwanlike fchollers take.

And doe deiiucr from that greedy lake*

Inglorious may they liue,inglorious die.

That fuffer learning liue in mifery.

,?htl. Whatcaren dicy,what fame their aihei hauc.

When once thei V coopt vp in filent grauc?

Stud, If for f aire fame they hope not when the dycj Yet let them fcarc graucs ftayning Infamy.

Phil* Their fpendthrift heircs will thofe firebrands quench Swaggering full moifily on a tauemes bench.

Stud. No /named fire for all his glofing heire,

M ufi long be talkr ofin the empty ayre.

Stud^ Beleeue me than that art my fecondfelfv.

My vexed foule ii notdifquicted.

For that 1 mi(Te,is gaudy painted Hate,

Whereat my fortunes fairely aim’d of late.

For what am I, the meanefi of many mo.

That earning profit are repaide with wo?

But this it is that doth my foule torment.

To thinke fomany affiueable wits.

That might contend- with proudefi birds of Sits now immur’d within their priuate cells. Drinking a long lank watcbin^^candles fmoake. Spending the marrow of their nowring age.

In fruitelcfie poring on fomc worme eate Icafe.* When their deferts /ball feemeofdue to claime*

A cherefull crop of fiuitfull fwelling fiieafe.

Cockle theii haruefi is, and weeds their grainy Contempt their portion their pofletUon paince Stud, SchoUersmufiframctoliueatalowfaylCf

Threturnefrom Tern^JJus. fayling where there blowes no happy galft Stud. Our lliipis ruin’d, all her tackling rent,

7ibi7. And all her gaudy furniture is fpent.

Stud. Tearcs be the w aucs whereon iier ruincs bidc»

7htl. And fighes the windes that waftes her broken fidei Stud. Mifchiefe the Pilot is the ffiip to ftcarc.

*PhU. And Wo the paflenger this uiip doth beare.

Stud. Come ^philamufus,\et vs breake this chat ,

^hil. And breake my heart , oh would I could breake that. Stud.. Lets learnc to aft that Tragick part wc hauc.

PhtU Would I were filent aftor m my grauc.

Aftusy. Scena I.

Phil^& Stud,heccme Pidiersrviththeireanftrt. >

T?hil. And tun? fellow ViAA\cr%,Studiofo & I are ready,

' Stud'.goingajfdefajieth. $HHt»

Fay re fell good Or^heui^x}nzt would rather be King of a mole hill, then a Keyfars flauc :

Better it is mongfl fidlcrs to be chicle,

Then at plaicrs trencher beg rcliefc.

But iU not Hrange this mimick apes Ihould prl2e Vnhappy Schollers at a hireling rate.

Vile world, that lifts them vp to hyc degree.

And treades vs downein groueling mifery.

M England afFordes thofe glorious vagabonds.

That carried card tbeirfardels on meir backed Courfersto ride on through the gazing flreetcs, Sooping it in their glaring Satten futes.

And Pages to attend their maifterlhips;

With mouthing words that better wits haue framed. They porchafe lands, and now HTtjuiers are made, ^hiU What ere they feeme being cuen at the beft, .

They are but fporting fortunes fcomfull iells.

Stud, So merry fortune is wontfrom ragges to take,

Some ragged gtome,and him fomcgaUaoC m^e^

H m

TMreturnefr»m Termjjuf,

Thu. The world and fortune hathplayd on VS toolongi ' Stnd. Now to the world we fiddle mufia fong.

Thu. Our life it a plaync fong with cunning pend ,

Whofe highert pitch in l<>weft bafe doth end.

But fee our feUo wes vnto play arc bent- '

If not our m'mdes.letts tune our infiruments.

Stud, Letts in a priuate fong our cunning try^

Before we fing to ftraoger company.

Thu, Jingt, 7httu»Ct

HOw can he fing whole voyce is hoarfc with care?

Ho w can he play whole heart ftringes broken arci How can he keepe his reft that nere found reft ?

How can he keepe his time whomc time nere blcfti Onely he can in forrow bearc a parte ,

With vntaught hand and with vntuned hart.

Fond arts farcwell,that fwallowed haue my youthi Ade w vayne raufes that haue wrought my ruth.

Repent fond fyre that trayad’ft thy napplcffe fonne,.

In learninges loare fince bounteous almes arc done. CcalcjCeafc har£h tongue, vntuned muheke reft:

Intombcthy forrowes in thy hollow breaft.

Stud. Thankes T^hil.iot thy plca^ ant fong.

Oh had this world a rutch ofiuttergriefe:

Hard rockes would weepe for want of our releife. Thil^^ The cold of wo hath quite vnton’dmy voyce.

And made it too too harlh for liftining care:

Time was in time of my young fortunes fpring,

I was a gamefome boy and lcarned to fing.

But fay fellow mufitians,you know befl whether we go,at

what dore muft we imperioufly beg.

Jacks fid, dwells Sir i?4</<ri^andh« (brine itmay be BOW at th^ good time of Newyeare he will be liberall , let v» fland ncerc and drawe.

ThU. Draw called thou it, indeed it ia the mou deQ’cratC of fipruice eun 1 adoent oo»

Sccna-2.

Euter the is^o ‘Tages,

Si* RadpaM'fm^x^ct biddi me tell you that be is but new- ly fallen aflccpe , and you bafc flaiies muO come and dif quiet him •• what neucr a basket of Capons ? mafTe , and if he comes heele commit you all.

e^mor. Frf^.Sirra 74eJ^,fhall you and I p’ay Sir Ti^derick. and Amorettofini reward thefe fiddlers, Ile,niymaifler Amcm rett&, andgiucthfniasrouch ashevfcth,

SirTi^d. And Imyolcl in&iflcr Sir 7^der/V^: fiddlers play, lie reward you,fay th I will.

^morpag.Gaod fayththispleafeth myrweete miftres ad- mirably.cannot you play twytty twatty foolc, or to be at her, to be at her.

Rad.pag. Haue you nener a long of maifler Dottlands making.^ Am.pag, Ot Has ego verJicxUtfeci^c, Apoxonit^mymai- Oer tyim. vfeth it very often. I haue forgotten the verfe.

%ad.pag, SirTheon there are a couple of fellowes brought before me, and I know not how to decide the caufe , looke in my Chnf^as booke who brought me a prefent Jfw.^/tjr.OnNcw-yeares day goodmanFooIe brought you a prcfcDtjbut goodraan Clo wne brought you none,

Rad.pag, 'Then the right is on goodman fooles fide.

Am. pag. My miflrcs is fo fweetc,that al the Phifitions in thu towne cannot make her ftinck , fhe neucr goes to the floole, ohfhe is a moft fweetc little munkey . Plcafcycvurworfhip good father yonder are Tome would fpeake with you.

Rad, pag. What haue they brought me any thing, if thqf haue nof/ay I take Phifi ck.

Forafmuch fiddlers, as I am ofthc peace , I muft needs loue all weapons and inflruments, that are tor the peace, among which I account your fiddles, becaufe they can neither bite tiqr fcratch,marry now finding your fiddles to iarre,and kno- wing that iarri^ is a caufe of breaking the peace, I am by the vcrttie of my office and place to commit your quarcUing fid- to clofe pnfonment in their cafes. . _ Thej call within*

(m ho, Richard^ack.

Hik JmtTtftig*

7 aerertirnejrom rernajjus.

jInt.'Pitge, The foolc within.rnarrcs our play without. Hd- dters fet it on my head, I vfe xp fizc my mufickc , or go on the fcore for it, lie pay it at the quarters end.

Rtid. Page. Farewell good Pan , fwcctc Irenm adieu , Dorn Orpheus a thoufand times farewell.

lackFid. You fworc you would pay vs for our mufick.

R id.Page. For that lie giuc Maifter Recorders law , and that is this , there is a double oath , a form'all oath , and a materiall oath: a materiall oath cannot be broken, the formall oath may be broken,! fwore formally : farew'ell Fidicrs.

phi/. Farewell good wags,whofe witspraife worth T deeme. Though lomewhat waggi£h,fo we all hauebecne* Stud. Faith &II0W Fidlers,heres no filucr found in this place, no notromuch asthevfuallCIirillmas entertainment of Mu- fitians,a black lack of Scare, and aChrilhnasPye.

7~hej wa/kf ajidefrom their fellorets^ Phil. Where ere we in the wide world playing be,

Miffortune beares a part, and marres our melody, Impodibleto pleafe with Muiickes flraine.

Our hearts firings broke, are ncre to be tun’d againe. Stud. T hen let vs Icaue this bafer fidling trade.

For though our purfe fh ould niend,our credit fades. Phil. Full glad 1 am tofec thy mindes free courfe, Declining from this trencher waiting trade.

Well may I now difclofe in plainer guife.

What earfti meant to worke in fecret wiles My bufic confeience checkt my^uilty foulc,

For feeking maintenance by. bafevafullage.

And then fuggefted to my leatching thought,

A Ihepheards poorefecure contented life,

On which fince then I doted euery houre.

And meant this fame houre in fadder plight,

T o hauc flolne from thee in feaccie of night.

Dcare friend thou fecm’ft to wrongmy ioulc too T hinking that Studiofo would account, (much,

That fortune fowre, which thou accomptcilfweete. Nor any life to me can Tweeter be.

Thea

Then happy fwaines in plaine of i^rcaif,

Thi 1. Why then left* both go (pend onr litlc ilore«

Jn the proui fion of due furniture:

A Ihcpards hooke,atarbox and a fc ippe.

And haft vnto thofe ftieepc adorned hills.

Where if not bleffc our fortunes we may bleflc our

SW, Truemirth wcmaycnioyinthackcdftall, (wills*) Nor hoping higher rife, norfeating lowerfall. F^^r7,Wcclcthcrcforedifchargethcfifidlers. Fellow maft- tion$,wee areforythat it hath beene your illhappe to haue had v$ in yourcompany,that arc nothing but fcritch-owles, and night Rauens,able to marre the purelt melody : & beiids, our company is fo ominous , that whereweare, thence libe- rality is packing , our refolution is therefore to wiOi you well, and tobidde youfareweli.

Come Stud ; tet vs haft away.

Returning neare to this accurfed place*

Affusy* Sccna.3.

Enter IngeuiofOytyicudemiee*

Infe, Faith Academies, its the fcarc of that fellow » I meane the iigne of the feargeants head , that makes m c to be fo hafty to be gone : to be briefe syicademico , writts are out for me, to apprehend meeformy playes,and now 1 am bound for the lleofdoggs* Furor ztM Phautafnut comes after, remoouing thecampe as faft as they can : farewell , meuf quid vota tw/e- hunt,

Acud. Fayth r/ thinke the Vniuerfity is a me-

lancholik life, for there a good fellow cannot fit two howret w his chamber, but he (hall bee troubled with the bill of a Drawer^or aVintnenbut the point is,/know POt how to bet* «cr my feUk^aod fo I am fayne to takcii*

mujfmr

Aft.j'.SceT>.4«

Vhil,StHd,F*iror^hant,

I

P^#7.Whohauewetlicre, Ingeniefe^znA Acttiemk^

Stud. The very c fame, vvho arethofc.FwrtfrandPWfi*^ WA? Furor takes a loufe ojfhts jleeue^

Furor. And art thou there fix footed Mercury?

Vhau.with Are rj'mes become fuch crccpcrsnow a dayes? his hand Prefumptuous loufe, that doth good manoci s lacl^ in his ho- Daring to creepe vpon Poet Furors back: fime, Multum refert qui^ufeumvixeris.

Non videmus Manticaquodin ter go efl.

Pi/7. What Furor and Pi«».too , our old collcdge fcllowes^ let vs incounter them all,7M^: Acad^Furor, ^hanufma.Qodi fauc you all.

Sr«d,What lugen, ^/Fcad, Furor. Vhantafma : howc do you t/rauelads.

fyg. What our deere friends Pi//.and Stud f Acu, What our old friends Pit/.and Stud\

Fur^ What my fupematural! friends/

Ittg, What newes with you in this quarter of the Cit«

Pi//. We haue run through many trades , yet thriueby none*

Poore in content,and onely rich in moane,

A fhephardslife thou knowfr 1 wont to admire. Turning a Cambridge apple by the fire.

To Hue in humble dale we now' are bent.

Spending our dayes in fearelefie merriment.

^tttd. Weel teach each trM«uen of the hardeft kind, Tokcepe our woefull name within their linde:

Weel watch our flock, and yet weele fleepe withal!, Weclc tune our forrowes to the waters fall.

The woods and rocket with ourihriU Tongs weete blc&.

The returm frm PemaJJus. ■ '

Let them proue kmd fince men prouc pittilede* Eutfay whether are you and your company iog^ingtit feeme* by ) our apparell you are about to wander.

/»j.Fauh we arc fully bent to be Lords of mifrulein the worlds wide heath.our voyage IS tothclieof Dogges, there where the blattant bead doth rule and raigne Renting the Cfcdii of whom it pleafc.

Where ferpents tongs the pen men are to write. Where cats do waulc by day, dogges bynight;

T here <1 )all engoared venom be my inke.

My pen a (harper quill of porcupine.

My (fayned paper, this flnloaden earth:

There willl write in lines (hall neuer die.

Our feared Lordings crying villany.

I Vhil. A gentle wit thou had(f,nor isit blame.

To turne fo tart for time hath wrongd the fame,

StH. And well thou dofl horn this fond eatth to flit.

Where mod mens pens are hired parafites, jic*. Go happily^! w ilh tnee (lore of gal,

Sharpely to wound the guilty world withall:

EW* But fay , what (hall become of Furor and Ph4P*t4/^

. 0f4i

lug* Thefe ray companions dill with me mud wend, e«Yr4.Fury and Fanfie on good wits attend. .

Fur* When I arriuc within the ile of Doggs,

Don Phoebus 1 will-make thee kide the pumpe.

Thy one eye pries in euery Drapers dal).

Yet neuer tbinkes on poet Furors neede:

Furor Vi lowfic, great F«rerlowfieis,

He make thee run this lowfie cafe Iwis*

And thou my cluttifh landrcde Cinthia, Nerethinkeson ]innen,F«rtfr/ flurts Thou and ihy fquirting boy Eudimiou*

Lies dauer ing dill vpon a lawlcde couch.

Furor will hauc thee carted through the diit«

That makcdgrcatpoct waathit /hue*

Tht retmrnejrfim fernajftts,

7nfe, Isnothereatrus dogge that dare bailee (b boldly at die Mooonc.

^ Phil, Exclay ming want and needy care and caricc.

Would make the mildeft Tpright to bite and barke. *Phan, Canes timidi vehementins Utrant> There are ccrtalne bum in the He of doggs called in our Engli/htongue,nien of worfhip, certainc briars as the Indians call them, as we fay ccr- taync lawyers, ccrtayric great lumps of carih,as the v>^rbians call them . Cercayne grofersas weetcarme thtXRyqnos ego fed mot os prajlat commoner efluSlus,

Inge, We three vnto the fiiarling Hand haft,

And there our vexed b reath in fnarling waft.

7hil, We will be gone vnto the d oWnes of Kent, Surefooting we lhali find in humble dale.*

Our fleecy flockc weel learne to watch and warde, /n Tulyes heate and cold of January:

Weel chant our woes vpon an oaten reede.

Whiles bleating flock vpon their flipper feedes So fhall we fkun the company of men.

Stud. That growes more hatefuJl as the world growes old, Weel teach the murmering brookes in tears to flow.* And fteepy rocke to wayle our pafled wo. t^cad. Adew you gentle fpiritt$,long adc w;

Your witts 1 loue and your ill fortunes rue.* .

He haft me to my Cambridge cell againe.

My fortunes cannot wax but they may waine*

Jnge, Anew good /beppards,happy may you liuc.

And if neereafter in fome fecret fhade,

Y ou fhall recount poorc fchollers naferies,

V ouchfafe to mention with tearcs fwelling eyes, jngeniofoes thwarting deftinyes, AndthoMdilhappytydcademico,

That ftill maift reft vpon the mufes bed,

Ir>ioying there a quiet flumbering ,

When thou repayeft vnto thy Grantaes ftreame'. Wonder at thine ownc bliflc , pitiy our cafe,

w.

Acad.

ThifeiWWeJromJ^rnn^ “ '

That Rill doth tread ill fortunes endleflc tna2e,

Wifli them chat are prefernjents Almoners,

To chetifh gentle wits in their greenc bud;

For had not Cambridge bin to me vnkindc,

I had not turn'd tc gall a miikycmindc.

I wifh thee of goca hap a pletuious (lore,

Thy witdeferucs noIeffc,my louc can wifli no more. Farewell, farewell good tJ^cadetKico.

Neuer maift thou tafl of our forepalTed woe.

Wee wifh thy fortunes may attaine iheirdue;

Furor and you Pha»tafma both adoc. Fatewell,farewcn,farcwcll,o long farewell.

The reft my tongue concealcs,lec fortow tell. ^hau.Et longumvale^inijHit Ida,

Furor, Farewcl my mi^^a%,Furer s a mafly dogge.

Nor can with a fmooth glozing farewell cog. Nought can great Furor do, hat barkc and howle. And fhar!e,and grin, and carle, and towzc the world, Like a great fwmc by his long Icane card lugges. Farewell mufty,dufty,rufty,fufly London ,

Thou art not worthy of great Furors wit.

That cheateft vertue oPicr due defert.

And fuffereft great Apollkes fonne to wan?.

Nay flay awhile and helpeftie to content:

So many gentle witts atcenticn,

Who kennes the lawes of eucry comick Rage,’

And wonders that our feene ends difeontent.

Ye ayrie witts fubtill,

Since that few fcholiers fortunes arc content. Wonder not if our fccne ends difeontent.

When that your fortunes reach t heirdue content. Then (hall our ftjene end in her meriment.

PA#/. Perhaps fomc happy wit wi th feeling hand. Hereafter may recorde the paRorall Of the two fcholiers of hi!.

And then our fccne may ^nd and haue content \ Mcanc time if there be »iiy fpightfuli Ghoft,

' / 1 That

e.

That finilcs to fee poorcfchollcrs mifery?

Cola I- h;s charity , his v^ it too.&lli, '

V^efc' me (11* cenfare, ,h^js iieciipg gidl,

B:r. \vii3tro\re iefiredCprights the^rc bc|^^

U' Its : <’! eepcly g-6oc a ? oiir Ciilaratjtyji ; • > ' , VVhofcbi cat.'! 'i tin iTd'tb fi^es,vyh4f^e^^ avt wcf. To fee bright arts Wnt to their iarefffpK: .'

Whence iiei’.er t> .'ev againc their heads fTial! I'ccrc,

T o blcn'e our art dslgracing hcmifphcci^.

Let them.

Lctthiin*

■p.S r< Letthesn. J, AH glitc hs a

Ac^ti. And none bilt them, ' \pUudtte,

PA/7. And n -ne bar them.

Stui. /VdJ none but tKenii

FINIS.

■y

DEC 241914

I